Lost Souls
by Archer83
Summary: During the early months on their ongoing mission, the crew of the Enterprise D are the first to respond to a nearby distress signal.  They arrive to find a battle scarred derelict ship and her surviving crew.  A discovery that will have far reaching repercussions for both crews, and the entire galaxy.
1. Once More Unto The Breach

**Lost Souls**

**by: Vergil1989 the Crossover King and Archer83**

**Summary: ** During the early months on their ongoing mission, the crew of the Enterprise D are the first to respond to a nearby distress signal. They arrive to find a battle scarred derelict ship and her surviving crew. A discovery that will have far reaching repercussions for both crews, and the entire galaxy.

**Disclaimer: **The authors do not own anything related to Star Trek: The Next Generation or Mass Effect, except for any original ideas, characters, or settings contained herein.

**Authors' notes:** **Vergil1989;** I am seriously sueing Archer for this one. He got me addicted to all things Star Trek and this is the result. I was an unrepentant Star Wars fan until a couple months ago, and he's gone and made me a traitor. Bastard lol.

**Archer83; **The moment Vergil brought this idea to me, I knew we were going to make a story out of it. As a die hard Trekkie and Mass Effect fan, I, as an author, could not ask for a better playground to work in. I hope the result is as satisfying to read as it was for us to create!

**Vergil1989;** I still say you're a bastard for making me a traitor lol. In all seriousness, when the idea appeared in my head, resistance as they say was futile. At any rate, hopefully we'll do these two universes the justice they deserve.

**Archer83; **Is. Resistance IS futile... He's a work in progress folks, but I'm damned and determined to make him a full blown Trekkie yet!

**Vergil1989;** Yep, he's a nerd. But at least he knows what he's talking about whenever I ask him something Star Trek related. Besides, he's a good friend, and I'm just glad he puts up with me fumbling in the dark lol.

**Archer83; **Don't forget Stargate, Farscape, Star Wars, The Marvel Universe, Firefly... Wow. I am a nerd. And you're welcome buddy.

**Vergil1989;** I know my fair share about Star Wars, Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis, as well as Firefly, Serenity, Babylon 5, they're also not outside the scope of my nerdy kingdom lol. Don't underestimate my nerdgom! I'm good now.

**Chapter 1: Once More Unto the Breach **

Captain Jean-Luc Picard once again found himself pondering the very nature of life itself as his vessel departed from the Starbase 147. Their departing passengers, a shaken group of terraforming scientists from Velara III had been safely delivered, but Picard still found himself questioning what they had discovered. An inorganic lifeform, such a term didn't seem possible, and yet the crystal like creature had been just that. Internally, Picard had to admit he had been as just disappointed by leaving behind these new beings as his Second Officer, Lieutenant Commander Data. It was their mission to seek out such extraordinary new life, and an inorganic lifeform was as extraordinary as one could hope, but they had made a mess of the situation. Rather, the terraformers had done that before his ship had arrived to assist their efforts, only to discover the alien beings that called the salt water beneath the sands of Velara III their home.

Discovering life where none was supposed to exist had only been the second strangest thing Picard had seen yet in the first year of his captaincy of the _Enterprise_. The arrival of Q on his bridge had been the first, but his last appearance had been several months ago now. Picard had wondered privately more than once if he would have been able to give up the powers his XO, William Riker, had been bestowed on him by the omnipotent being in a devil's bargain to tempt him away from the crew of the Enterprise, and to prove a point regarding how easily people could be corrupted. Thankfully, Riker, with a little help from the crew, had turned Q's _offer _down. If the captain had anything to say about it, today would be another quiet exercise in routine.

So far, it was just another day for Picard as his crew picked up a faint distress call, dangerously close to the Romulan Neutral Zone. While he found it suspicious, given the signal's proximity to the Neutral Zone, he had an obligation to investigate it. The fact that it could be a clever ruse by the Romulans to trick them into an ambush was the first thing that occurred to him, but Picard thought it very unlikely. No one had seen a Romulan vessel for the better part of three decades, and there was no indication to say they had returned. Besides, vessels became stranded all the time for any number of reasons, ranging from simple mechanical issues to far more serious problems brought on by attacks by enemy vessels or impacts by stray asteroids or pieces of debris.

The distress call itself had been audio only. There had been some strange interference that hadn't allowed more than the a extremely distorted audio message itself with no video feed to accompany it. Despite attempts to clear up the message, nothing the crew attempted seemed to work, and the message remained unchanged in its obvious desperate call for help.

Lieutenant Commander Data, an android created by a brilliant genius by the name of Soong, glanced up from his ops console, quick to provide the information he knew Picard would be asking for any moment now. "Sir, at warp eight we should be able to reach the vessel in one hour, forty-seven minutes and twelve-"

"They might not have that long. Their distress call seemed rather desperate." Counselor Troi stated as she turned to Picard. "Judging by the tone of the speaker's voice, I sense a great deal of tension, worry, concern, and fear, which would fit if their situation was as dire as it sounded."

"Helm, lay in a course for the Neutral Zone, maximum warp." Picard gave an all too familiar gesture to the bridge crew. "Engage!"

**Twenty-Seven minutes later...**

The entire bridge crew could only stare at the gravely wounded ship that their scanners had detected once they dropped out of warp. "Look at her, she must have been a beautiful ship. Before someone beat the hell out of her. " La Forge said, the amazement in his voice easily heard as he swept his VISOR over the main view screen. Born blind, his VISOR, was a device that allowed him an unique view of the world, showing him all manner of infrared, ultraviolet, electronic and radiation bandwidths which his mind processed as different shades of light wave emissions ranging across the spectrum of visible color, sometimes in pulses of light, sometimes as simple luminescence. "I'm detecting extensive battle damage, whoever hit them hit them hard. Hull breaches, high-energy plasma weapon scarring, although it's a type I'm not familiar with. Her engines are offline, and she seems to be hemorrhaging fuel. I wouldn't be surprised if their remaining life support is under extreme strain as well. If we plan to mount a rescue, we'll need to go in full EVA gear."

Data turned to face his Captain, with a look that could almost be called puzzlement. "Sir, the unknown energy signature that was interfering with our ability to receive their distress call is far stronger here. It seems to be originating from their engineering deck. Perhaps, their warp core is the cause of the interference." Turning back to his console, the pale skinned, golden eyed android raised a curious eyebrow. "Strange, I am not detecting any anti-matter or other signs of warp capability. If these readings are correct, I would strongly advise against attempting to transport to the vessel while we are within range of their core's energy field Captain. Our current information on this phenomenon is insufficient to determine what would happen if we were to attempt to beam aboard. We will have to make use of a shuttlecraft to rescue any survivors."

"Hull markings are in Earth standard Captain." Lieutenant Natasha Yar, Tactical Officer and Security Chief of the _Enterprise_, stated as she looked away from her station. "It's hard to make out with all the damage but I'm enhancing now. SSV Normandy, SR-1. Most of their systems are offline or damaged beyond repair. Scans suggest they seem to favor laser based defensive measures, old nuclear equivalent missiles, and if I'm reading this right, I believe their primitive shields and armor were designed to defend against kinetic energy only. No phaser or EM shielding of any kind."

"It would take great courage to place one's life in the hands of such inferior technology." Wolf quietly muttered to himself from his science station behind Tactical, earning a reproachful glance from Yar.

"I don't know Worf. The fact they achieved a version of FTL without an anti-matter core seems remarkable to me." Geordi replied before confirming Yar's earlier scans. "She's right Captain. I don't know how or why, but that's what my VISOR's telling me. That explains the strange interference we've been picking up. What do you think Data?"

"My scans also suggest the same Geordi. They seem to have followed a different technological path to achieve faster than light travel. Truly ingenious design. I would hypothesize that their technology works on a mass effecting principle, but further analysis is needed to determine if that is the case. If it is, we could learn a great deal from them."

"Indeed Commander. It seems we have visitors to our happy little quadrant of the galaxy." Picard nodded his head towards the view screen, not all that surprised by what he had heard. It seemed rather fitting, given the ship on their view screens. Something about it seemed strange, alien, even by their standards. Investigating it the old fashion way seemed to his mind, the only way to truly learn about them, after his people had saved any surviving crew of course. "Alright. Number One, prepare an away team as quickly as you can. It would seem time is not on our side."

"Is it ever sir?" Wry grin on his lips, Riker didn't wait for a reply as he turned to the rest of the bridge. "Alright, Data, Worf, La Forge, you're with me." Striding towards the upper level, the Commander tapped at his combadge while the three men quickly joined him in the turbolift. "Riker to Doctor Crusher, meet us in shuttle bay three. We've received a distress call-"

"I'm on my way Commander." Beverly stated immediately, and Riker had to smile at the woman's unwavering devotion to her duty. She didn't ask questions unless they were related to her patients' well being.

"Acknowledged." The turbolift quickly reached its destination and Riker led the way to the shuttle bay, joined by a slightly disheveled Crusher as he entered the massive hangar. Data was quick to retrieve four phasers and tricorders from a nearby emergency locker, Beverly having brought her own medical tricorder. Data knew better than to offer her a phaser. From previous experience, he was eighty-two point nine five percent positive that she would most likely throw it back at him with excessive force.

"We can't use the transporters?" Beverly asked with a concerned frown, even as Riker and Worf pulled out rarely used EVA suits from the standby shuttle's emergency compartment. She didn't question the decision as she put down her equipment and donned the protective suit as quickly as possible.

La Forge shook his head as he donned his own EVA suit. "Unfortunately no, Doc. The ship we're preparing to board is emitting an unusual form of energy that is having an adverse effect on our transport capabilities."

"I say it's some form of anti beaming energy shield against unwanted visitors." Worf grumbled, even as he pulled the suit's helmet over his head before climbing into the co-pilot's chair. "A wise tactic to prevent boarders from taking the ship."

Taking the pilot's seat Riker narrowed his eyes as he concentrated on finishing the preflight checklist as rapidly as possible. Donning the EVA suits had taken too much time as it was. "I don't care what it is Mr. Worf, all I know is that it's keeping us from getting those people the hell out of there."

Data calmly sat opposite Crusher, not bothering to don one of the air tight suits since, as an artificial lifeform, he didn't need to breathe. Still, Data did make it a point to strap himself down, just in case they crashed. While unlikely, it was better to err on the side of caution.

Making sure Beverly and her gear were secure, La Forge strapped himself in next to Data before turning to the cockpit and gave Riker a thumbs up. "We're good to go Commander."

"Riker to bridge, departing shuttle bay three now." With a quick nod to the shuttle bay flight controller, Riker gently lifted the shuttle off the deck and moments later they were clearing the bay along with the _Enterprise's _massive warp nacelles.

"Acknowledged. Be careful out there Number One, this is an unusual situation, even for _us._ Picard out." With that, Riker and his away team were left to tend to the ship and her crew on their own. He hoped all went well, but something told Picard today was going to be the start of something far bigger.

"They fought with honor, it must have been a glorious battle..." Worf muttered, mostly to himself, as the shuttle neared what looked to be a ripped open hangar bay on the underside of the ship. At the puzzled looks from a few of his colleagues, Worf went into further detail. "Scoring patterns on the hull would suggest they fought to the last. They gave it their all, even if it was a fight they probably knew they'd lose. I would not be surprised if we found the remains of whatever enemy attacked them aboard."

"Let's hope not Mr. Worf, I don't want to waste time getting shot at that we can use to save survivors." The disappointed frown on the Klingon officer's face said it all as Riker kept a wary eye on the rapidly approaching derelict. "And you're right Geordi, she was a beautiful ship, once." Riker said as his eyes fell on a darting shadow in the open hangar bay. "Movement on the deck, could be friendly, could be hostile. Set phasers to stun once we dock, just in case."

With a soft thud, the shuttle made contact with the deck. Riker activated its magnetic clamps securing it against the damaged hangar floor. "We are secure sir. Opening rear shuttle hatch now." Data said, the only one of the group not wearing an EVA suit since he didn't require oxygen like the rest of his crewmates. The shuttle ramp silently descended in the near vacuum of the hangar as the four men pulled out their phasers and adjusted the settings accordingly.

"Okay, Georgi, Data, search this deck for survivors. Worf, Doctor, you're with-" Will stopped dead when he realized too late they had walked into a trap. The various weapons in their faces made that all to clear. "-me... I don't suppose telling you we come in peace would help, would it?" His charming smile disappeared when a particularly menacing heavy pistol found its way under his chin. "Guess not."

"Weapons on the deck. _Now_." Riker knew arguing with the armored, and heavily armed, woman who had been the first to board the shuttle could only lead to disaster. The look in her focused emerald eyes, which he spotted through a narrow transparent slit in her mostly matte black helmet, spoke of a strength he saw anytime he looked into Picard's. She was a warrior first and foremost, a different kind perhaps, but the resemblance was uncanny. The woman's armor was just as black, except for a red stripe down her right arm and an emblem on her chest. A white N7, a symbol he wasn't familiar with, but she wasn't the only one that had one. The similarly dressed man on her right also had a similar red stripe and emblem on his mostly blue armor.

The other members of the woman's crew were a motley assortment, coming in all different shapes and sizes. Riker could identify at least three different alien species he hadn't encountered before just from their armor's physical contours and characteristics. To make it all the more interesting, he was pretty sure one of the helmeted women had blue skin from the little he could see of it. But, to be fair, he was more taken by her deep blue eyes.

Clearing his throat in an effort to center his thoughts on the problem at hand, Riker nodded towards the rest of his team even as he slowly lowered his phaser and dropped it to the deck. "We aren't here to cause any trouble. We picked up your distress call, and we're here to render aid." At his subtle nod Data, Worf and La Forge carefully dropped their phasers as well. He knew that with their help Data could _probably_ disable all eight of the armored figures he'd counted, but with his team's lives on the line, probably wasn't good enough. Besides, he wasn't familiar with the weaponry they were wielding, and with the scan results they had seen so far, he didn't want to take any chances. It was safe to assume that their weapons also didn't operate on energy they were familiar with if their ship didn't.

All of that passed through Riker's mind at warp speed while the woman jabbed her pistol under his chin with more force. She cocked her head to the side as the other armored figures poured into the shuttle. "Last time I checked, rescue teams weren't armed. Put your hands on your head."

"We don't have time for this!" Geordi yelled in exasperation, drawing everyone's gaze towards him. "According to our last scans, the structural integrity of your ship's hull is dangerously low. She could break apart any second now!"

"Good thing you nice folks are here to give us a lift then." The woman seemed to eye the shuttle consoles for a moment as the rest of her group finished crowding into the shuttle behind her. You, babyface, you the pilot?"

Riker just cocked an eyebrow at the nickname and nodded as he watched the others being restrained with some form of glowing handcuffs that seemed to appear from devices on their wrists that also glowed in a similar manner. He managed to keep his expression neutral as he noticed a subtle nod from La Forge, who lightly brushed against a console panel before being forcefully deposited next to Data on one of the rear benches. Leave it to Geordi to be the first to think on his feet. While he couldn't blame these people for their caution after their obvious recent confrontation, Will's patience was wearing thin. "We came here to _help_. Not be threatened at gunpoint and taken hostage. Some people might just call that being rude."

The woman's pistol was shoved in Riker's face yet again, forcing him to take a step back. "This is me being excessively nice babyface, you wouldn't like me when I'm rude. And I'm not about to take a chance, especially after we just got our asses handed to us." She took a breath, and Riker was slightly reassured by the woman's softer tone of voice when she spoke again. "I understand your frustration, but I won't put my own people at risk. We'll just all get comfy until the Alliance gets here." The woman replied, and turned her head when one of her beforementioned people groaned and grabbed at his side

"Great plan Shepard, the whole suffocating to death thing. Just great." Even with his voice muffled by his helmet, it wasn't hard to hear the pain and sarcasm in the man's voice.

Beverly instinctively leaned forward and was about to ask what was wrong with him when a blue armored alien, going solely by the odd body shape, of a kind she had never seen before, gently but firmly pushed her back into her seat. "I can help him."

Their leader sighed as she roughly pulled her ally away from Crusher. "Garrus, she's their CMO, I'd bet my last credit on it. Get Joker strapped down for now, if they really are here to help us, she can look him over once we're on their ship." An odd dual flanging sound was his only curt reply.

"Don't worry about me Shepard, I'm sure this gaping hole in my arm will take care of itself." The man Beverly had tried to help grimly muttered with a quiet sigh.

"Joker, quit your bitching. Kaidan, do what you can for him. Is that everyone Liara?"

"Yes Commander, everyone is accounted for." The blue skinned humanoid female replied solemnly in standard as she motioned for one of the _Enterprise _crew to shut the shuttle doors once the last of her compatriots had been secured.

"On it Shepard." Another of Shepard's crew stated while Riker took control of their shuttle. All the while, he eyed the gun pointed at his face with annoyance as he piloted out of the hangar bay and back into open space.

Suited in dark red armor, one of the largest aliens any of the five _Enterprise _crew members had ever seen, grumbled something in an yet another unintelligible language. "Seriously Wrex?" The alien grunted something to the relatively tiny human woman standing next to him. "No, you can't eat them Wrex, no matter how politely you ask."

"You're kidding right?" Riker asked, and wasn't reassured by the nervous chuckle the woman let out. Staring into a set of visored silvery eyes, somehow Riker found the soft melodic tones from a smaller female alien, along with a gentle pat on his shoulder, calming. "I take it she said I had nothing to worry about 'Shepard'?"

"That's _Commander Shepard_ to you babyface, but you're right. Wrex talks big but he's not a cannibal. Well. whatever eating another sentient race is called anyway." When the distinctly suited and visored woman started to protest, the woman in charge held up a hand and looked to her friend with an audible smile in her voice. "Tali, not another word, and yes, Wrex has a terrible sense of humor."

"That's reassuring Commander." Beverly was quick to say, making it clear she wasn't as comfortable with the situation as she pretended to be.

"Oh don't let them frighten you my dear." Crusher was surprised when one of the armored women sat down next to her. The warmth in her voice was too easy to detect, making the Enterprise medical officer wonder if she was talking to a fellow doctor. "Doctor Karin Chakwas. My apologies for my crewmates' general lack of trust. For the record, I suggested a more peaceful solution."

"Doctor Beverly Crusher." She replied, and would have offered the older woman her hand, but was very aware that they were restrained behind her back. "I'm sure we can get this sorted out quickly. How many wounded do you have? Our sickbay could be prepped in advance and-"

"Nice try. No comms." Shepard said patting her pistol against the side of Riker's arm as he reached towards the console. "I'm having a bad day, so don't test me."

Riker managed not to react as he noticed that the main comm line had already been opened. The slightest nod from La Forge answered his unspoken question. "You've lost people today." It wasn't a question, and Riker returned the small nod from Shepard before speaking again. "There's no need for you to lose any more. I promise you, we don't intend to harm any of you. When we land in the shuttle bay, if you'd be willing to hand over your weapons and-"

"Over my dead body. As you just said, I've lost good people, and I don't plan to put the few I have left at risk in an unknown ship, surrounded by potential enemies."

"This one is a true warrior. She must have Klingon blood in her veins." Worf nodded with approval, even as he attempted to find some way to release himself from his restraints, just like La Forge and an already successful Data. An EMP from the android's internal energy distribution system had been enough for him to short out his glowing energy restraints.

"I take it you are from a warrior centric species in this part of the galaxy?" The blue skinned woman asked, and Worf raised an eyebrow but nodded his head at her keen observation. "I thought as much. You carry yourself with the same strength and purpose as the krogan, of which Wrex is a member."

"Oh boy, here we go. Liara is at it again. I might die of boringitis before we even land." Everyone, except Worf, and the massive 'Wrex', winced as Shepard walked over and lightly whacked 'Joker' on the back of his helmet.

"Huh. Deja vu." The one she had called Kaidan quietly chuckled to himself. "That might have been a little extreme Comm-"

"Kaidan. Shut up."

"Aye aye Commander." 'Kaidan' quickly replied before lowering his head.

Riker, already having slowed his approach as much as possible to give security more lead time to prepare a response, eyed the rapidly nearing shuttle bay. "Can I at least contact our shuttle bay? We use a series of tractor beams to-"

"If I was born yesterday, I might actually believe that boyscout level ruse. I already figured out that one of your people activated the comms while we were busy boarding and restraining your friends. I'm sure your crewmates are waiting for us in the shuttlebay, weapons ready and aimed at our shuttle the moment we land." At Riker's slightly stunned look, Shepard merely shrugged. "It's what I'd do, so you get my respect for your resourcefulness. You're also going to get a complimentary bullet if you don't nicely ask your buddies to clear out before we land. Then I want to speak with whoever's in charge. Alone. No escort. You mess with me, I might just decide to use your crew for target practice." This last part seemed to be more for anyone listening on the other end than for Riker himself.

"You have my attention, Commander Shepard. This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS _Enterprise_. Am I to assume that you're the captain of the derelict vessel we came to assist?"

Shepard looked to the comms and raised an eyebrow before motioning for Riker to do whatever he needed to do so she could talk to the Captain herself. When he switched control of the comms to the cockpit, she nodded her thanks before speaking into the panel Riker indicated. "I'm sorry for the necessity of taking some your crew hostage Captain, but I'm hoping to get my people out of this mess in one piece. For that, I need leverage."

"I sympathize with your plight Commander, and I too hope we can resolve this matter peacefully. There is no need for further violence. I understand you have wounded aboard. I can assure you, our medical facilities are more than up to the task of dealing with any injuries your people may have sustained, and we are quite willing to help you in any way that we can."

"Okay, let's dispense with the pleasantries and get to brass tacks shall we? Look at it from my perspective. I'm on an unknown ship, surrounded by a possibly hostile force. I just survived the near total destruction of my vessel, and lost a lot of good people. And there is no way in Hell you can prove that I can trust you without risking the rest of my crew." Shepard seemed to pause for effect as Riker glanced up at her, only to have her pistol barrel roughly nudge his gaze back towards the vacant shuttle bay as they gently landed on the deck. "I'm sure you can see my little dilemma here sir."

"There is one way Commander. I will take the place of your hostages." Everyone aboard the shuttle looked to the comm link as if the Captain had started speaking gibberish.

"Captain, I strongly advise against-" Riker's annoyed warning was cut short by the barrel of Shepard's pistol jamming into his chin once again. He was getting very tired of it, but he saw no way to disarm her, at the moment.

"The grown ups are talking babyface." Shepard muttered and turned back to the console in front of her before pausing and glancing back at Riker with renewed interest. "You're the XO aren't you? I know the type, used to be one. First rule is always keep the Captain from doing something incredibly stupid right?" Will's deep sigh was apparently all the confirmation the she needed. "Doesn't usually work. Yeah, I've been there."

Seeing no point in lying to the highly dangerous woman, Riker nodded. "Commander William Riker, First Officer of the _Enterprise. _Trust me, I'm all the leverage you need. Why don't you just let the others go?" Shepard looked to her friends, her family he suspected, and seemed to think it over. That was when Riker noticed Picard confidently entering the shuttle bay and proceeded to slam his fist against the console in frustration. "Dammit."

Shepard's tone instantly turned to one of camaraderie as she gave Riker a slap on the shoulder. "That's all the incentive I need. Let the rest go once their Captain boards." Her team immediately moved to free the shuttle's crew, and found half of them had already freed themselves. When she noticed, Shepard chuckled and nodded her head in approval. "Not bad. Resourceful _and _clever."

Data stared at Shepard for a moment before responding. "Thank you Commander Shepard. Please be advised that you are charged with five counts of kidnapping, one count of stealing Starfleet property-"

It was then, just as the rear ramp opened, that Picard himself put a hand on the android's shoulder as soon as he boarded. "Data, please. I think we can forgive the Commander and her team their caution after what they've endured." Data only nodded his head, but Jean-Luc had since moved on as he held out his hand to the heavily armed woman. "Commander Shepard I presume? I implore you Commander, release my people and hand over your weapons and all of this will only be a mildly unpleasant memory."

"No harm no foul huh? I want to believe you Captain Picard, but I can't take that risk." Shepard replied as she grasped the man's hand and firmly shook it. Picard could tell that she was honestly surprised, but pleasantly so, that he had come down to greet them personally as he had promised he would. "I'm impressed, most captains and well, leaders in general, wouldn't have agreed to this. I'll keep my word since you did, most of your crew are free to go. Babyface though, stays with you."

"I see. Still, thank you for returning my people unharmed Commander." Picard held out his wrists with a wry grin.

"My pleasure." Shepard waved him off, merely pointing towards one of the shuttle benches instead of bringing out another pair of glowing cuffs. "I try not to make a habit of restraining superior officers sir."

"I believe you. Might I see your face Commander? I would like to know who I am dealing with, and since we are both honorable people, I think we can safely agree a face to face meeting is preferable." Picard sat comfortably on the bench and gestured towards the rear hatch. "Please, by all means seal the shuttle if you like. I wouldn't blame you for thinking my crew might attempt to subdue you with some type of incapacitating agent."

"Seal the damn hatch now! They're probably already pumping the stuff in!" Shepard shouted towards the blue armored alien before sighing as it THUNKED shut.

"What is he doing?! Captain!" Worf shouted, but was held back Natasha Yar. "The Captain is in danger Lieutenant!"

"The Captain knows exactly what he's doing Worf. Trust me." Tasha replied in an effort to calm the klingon officer.

"Alone at last." Riker chuckled lightly, even as the one they called Wrex growled something intelligible at him.

"Um, Shepard, I'm down to like two- make that one percent air here...starting to get a little stuffy in this helmet." Joker said, worry clear in his voice.

"Relax Joker. Everybody, pop your helmets. I'm betting we've got plenty of air." Shepard sighed as the smaller alien woman pointed at her visor and said something in her melodic language that even Picard could tell had to be sarcasm. "Ha ha Tali, hilarious."

"Two months worth actually. I'd be more worried over energy reserves for replicating water and ration bars."

"Is there a problem Commander?" Picard asked, ignoring Riker's comment as he gazed at Tali. He was genuinely curious about the strangers he and Riker found themselves surrounded by.

Shepard shrugged, and seemed to see no harm in sharing a bit of information with him. Picard had willingly thrown himself to the lions for the sake of his crew, and that spoke volumes of the man himself. "Well, it depends on your definition. Tali can't remove her helmet because she has no immune system to speak of. Long story."

"Ah, that is most regretful, Tali is it? I'm sure our medical staff might be able to assist you." The alien girl blinked in surprise and Picard knew that she had understood him. He leaned back and gave her a reassuring smile before turning his attention to Riker. "You have the most disarming new friends Number One."

Riker nodded before sighing ever so slightly. "That I do sir." Before anyone could so much as blink Will had slammed into Shepard, drawing the attention of her crewmates, who instantly tried to subdue him. Shepard seemed more concerned about them not injuring Riker too badly as opposed to any harm the man could actually do to her.

"Thank you Number One." While Riker was tackled and pulled off Shepard by half of the group, Picard calmly removed the heels of his boots and pressed a small button on each before tossing them at the pile of twisting limbs and those watching the scuffle. A bright orange flash enveloped the entire compartment a split second later.

The least affected person, the helmeted alien woman, quietly grumbled to herself as she tried to shake off the effects of the stun grenades that had gone off in her face. Her visor had absorbed some of the energy from the grenade, but it still made her sluggish and slow. But it was more than enough to ensure their defeat as the rear ramp was lowered remotely, and the shuttle was soon swarmed by the rest of the _Enterprise _security team. A single stun beam was enough to have her sprawled out on the deck.

Only the massive armored alien seemed able to put up a fight, but by the time he got to his feet, Worf, Yar, Data had fired their phasers on heavy stun. He went down like a ton of bricks, muttering curses the whole way.

**Sick Bay **

**Three hours later...**

The first thing Picard noticed as he regained consciousness was his slightly blurred vision. But the reassuring presence of Beverly Crusher, her smiling face coming into his line of sight helped the Captain relax. Even if he absolutely hated being confined to medical for any reason, Jean-Luc was more than a little glad that she seemed alright, if a little worse for wear after her recent ordeal.

Nor was he all that surprised when Beverly pushed him back onto his bed when he tried to sit up. "Not just yet Captain. You're still suffering the side effects of having two low yield stun grenades go off in your face. I can't believe Tasha talked you into that insane plan."

"Walking around with those grenades in my boots wasn't exactly my idea of relaxation Doctor." Picard said with a light chuckle, his eyes gleaming, ignoring the small scowl on Beverly's face. "Tasha is certainly full of surprises. So, what's my prognosis?"

"You'll live. Despite being insanely reckless." Crusher replied simply as she waved one of her many scanning devices over his face.

Picard merely smirked at the halfway decent compliment she had thrown back. "Is that your professional opinion Doctor?"

"Geez, get a room you two." A voice to his left interrupted any further light hearted banter between the doctor and her patient. Turning to the source, Picard recognized the younger bearded man as one of the crew they had saved from the derelict. A passing look and a few quick words thrown to another of his companions had been the length of their interaction, but Jean-Luc still remembered the sarcastic fellow well enough. A scowling Yar stood nearby, causing the man's grin to vanish. "Would ya mind telling your friend here I'm not gonna hobble anywhere fast? I gotta take a piss like you wouldn't believe. Just throw me a bottle if you don't trust me, sheesh."

A quick look to Tasha told Picard she was finding it hard not to knock the sarcastic man out cold again. "Hold it."

"You can't be serious!" Yar's only reply was to cross her arms and smirk at the man. "Crap. You're serious."

"Try me." That was a mistake, as she was about to find out.

"Try you how? Because I can think of a couple- not the face!" The man's eyes widened as Tasha lunged at him, only to be blocked by a frowning Beverly.

"Lt., please escort the patient to a lavatory." When Yar balked at Crusher's request, the doctor flicked her eyes toward Picard. "I could ask the Captain to order you to. Your choice." Picard looked decidedly unpleased at the prospect of being verbally thrown into the middle of the arguing women.

The man's grin, Joker, Picard quickly recalled, instantly reappeared as Yar sighed in defeat and gently helped him off the biobed, not about to let him use the old fashioned crutches they had found in the shuttle. "Go pout, I win."

Beverly made it a point to thoroughly deflate Joker's ego when she rounded on him next. "Mr. Moreau, I would strongly advise that you don't antagonize Lieutenant Yar. She has a black belt in aikido, and is quite proficient in its use."

"So don't piss off the help, got it. Or she might break me with her pinky." Limping next to the irritated security officer, Joker took a moment to look her up and down. "Might even be worth it." He immediately regretted his choice of words when he felt something decidedly pointy and pinky shaped jab into his side none too gently. "Okay okay! Sense of humor non existent, gotcha!"

"I have an excellent sense of humor. You just aren't funny." Yar growled to the utter shock of her limping escort.

"Hey! Space-Rent-A-Cop, take that back. Right now. I'll have you know, I am freakin' hilarious..."

"Not really Joker." Another of the strange crew groaned as he came to. "Commander, permission to cold clock him when he gets back? Commander?" He came out of his sleepy daze in moments and began to struggle against an invisible barrier holding him completely still. "Why can't I move?! Where am I and what the Hell have you done to the Commander?!"

Crusher walked over to the newly conscious man and placed a hand on his shoulder. He tried to flinch away from her touch, only becoming more concerned at his inability to move. "It's only a force field restraint. It's normally used to keep patients from moving after extensive surgery, but our security chief thought it a good idea to restrain you and your friends in case you proved hostile. You're safe, just like the rest of your friends, I promise. Just relax."

"Yeah. Right. You aren't getting anything from me lady."

Picard watched as the man's struggles ceased almost immediately when the grey haired woman he had briefly seen aboard the shuttle stepped into Kaidan's line of sight, a similar gentle smile on her face laced with just a tinge of humor. "The Commander's well meaning paranoia seems to be contagious Kaidan."

"Doctor Chakwas? Are you alright? They didn't hurt you, did they?"

"Quite the contrary. The crew of this magnificent vessel have been quite accommodating. And if it wasn't for our dour faced chaperones, I might even be tempted to 'borrow' a few of their medical devices. Their dermal regenerator alone is an amazing piece of-"

Picard couldn't stop himself from smirking at the small chuckle that escaped the whiskey colored eyed man's lips. "I get it Doctor, you're a kid in a candy store. How are the others? Where's the Commander?"

"Everyone's here Kaidan. Except for Tali that is." Before Kaidan could so much as frown with worry, she quickly explained. "She managed to get on of their more technologically minded people to give her a short tour, with some extra supervision. As for the condition of the crew, all of them are either already awake or coming around as I speak. Other than being a little shaken up, we're all fine. Their medical technology is astounding, far more advanced than anything I've worked with before. The few relatively minor injuries we sustained have been attended to already, thanks to Beverly's assistance. Oh sorry, Doctor Crusher, you have her to thank for not waking up with yet another severe migraine. Honestly, I felt like I was back in medical school, working alongside her."

"Nice to see you're making friends Doc..." Beverly grinned despite herself as she watched the man waggle his eyebrows to get the older woman to step closer. If this 'Kaidan' thought he was fooling anyone as he quietly whispered to Karin, he was only fooling himself. "Chakwas...I need you to figure out how to release us..."

"There's really no need to worry. But if I recall correctly, it was actually you who helped to convince Shepard to take a few of our host's hostage. Seems rather ironic to me." Karin whispered back, much to Beverly and Picard's quiet amusement.

"Traitor." Kaidan grumbled, but there was an amused note to the whiskey colored man's voice. Even as he looked around for a way to escape despite his friend's reassurances to the contrary, Crusher tapped a console on the side of his bed, apparently worrying the armed security men and women watching them. Kaidan was surprised when the force field collapsed, and promptly sat up, freed from his makeshift prison by the good doctor's generosity. "Why?"

Crusher's answer was direct and to the point as she again reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, and this time, Kaidan didn't jerk away from her warm touch. "I'm willing to give a little trust if you are. You have kind eyes Major Alenko, and I'm good at reading patients."

"Did you have to tell her everything Doctor?" Kaidan grumbled as he none too subtly took in his surroundings, letting out a sigh of relief upon seeing the other remaining crew members. Most seemed to be just waking up, except for the blue armored alien,Garrus, who, still restrained in a biobed, was chatting up a nurse.

"Only the good parts, I assure you Kaidan." Karin replied with a soft chuckle as she stepped aside to allow another of Crusher's staff to move to the giant armored alien's bedside. Picard was the first to react when the being's red eyes snapped open and he started to glow a dark blue, but much like Alenko had, wasn't able to move a finger. The nurse that had been about to do another check on the alien's vital functions jumped backward in sheer surprise and shock. "Easy Wrex, you're safe."

Despite Crusher's withering glare, Picard sat up on the side of his biobed just as the red plated being rumbled out his complaint at being restrained. "Get me outta this bed Doc, and I promise I won't give the pyjaks that shot me a slow, painful death."

"Charming fellow." Picard muttered as he got to his feet, Beverly not being quite fast enough to reach him first. Picard waved Alenko over to him as he confidently walked over to the enraged alien. Well, as confidently as one could approach what looked to be a rather large, glowing, angry, humpbacked snapping turtle. "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS _Enterprise_. You are among friends."

"So, you're the man I have to kill if I want to get outta this mess? Fine, untie me and I'll make it nice and quick."

Kaidan gave an audible sigh at his friend's words. "Wrex, he's telling the truth. Relax."

"Shut up migraine boy." Wrex grumbled, but sighed before he looked towards Picard. "And you, if you've done anything to Tal- Nevermind."

Picard raised an eyebrow at the near slip up, and subtly glanced towards Kaidan, who merely nodded to show he had heard the same thing, before he turned his gaze back to Wrex. "If you give me your word of honor you will not harm anyone aboard this vessel, I will have you released."

"That's all huh?"

"That's all."

"Fine. I give you my word as a krogan of clan Urdnot, I won't cause any trouble….unless someone else starts it. Satisfied human?"

"Quite." With a reassuring glance, Picard nodded for a nurse to deactivate the force field, not blaming her in the least as the blonde haired woman made a beeline for another patient as Wrex sat up and rolled his massive shoulders.

Staring directly into the imposing alien's eyes, Picard knew instinctively that breaking eye contact with the red eyed creature was the last thing he wanted to do when Wrex lowered his head so they were unable to do anything else. The deep, rumbling voice also told the captain that there was an underlying threat of possible harm if he showed the slightest sign of weakness. "Thanks human. Now what's stopping me from snapping your neck like a wrinkly old twig?"

Picard remained calm, even as Alenko took a step back from the bio bed, and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Perhaps only the fact that an honorless _coward _would break their word?" Picard stated firmly, layering his voice with every bit of strength he could muster. After dealing with as many klingons and equally imposing aliens that had a similar mindset, he had perfected a tone that said he was far stronger than he looked.

With a huff, Wrex pushed himself off the bed, landing with a loud THUMP, his large beady red eyes glaring into Picard's equally steely hazel-green gaze for several moments. Everyone except for Picard, or those still restrained in their beds, jumped at the booming laughter that filled sickbay. "You gotta quad human! Sure you ain't related to Shepard? Hah, doesn't matter." With a hearty slap to his back, Wrex walked towards another of his companions, leaving Picard to rub at his sore shoulder. "Hey Garrus, bet your face plates are itching somethin' fierce right about now..."

Turning towards the pair, Picard raised an eyebrow again while Kaidan only shook his head in amusement. The captain had a feeling from the man's reaction that this was a regular occurrence between two very good friends. "Real funny Wrex...oh damn...they are starting to get a little itchy." The mandibled alien managed to look sheepish as his glance turned to the dark haired, grinning blue shirted human woman at his bedside. "Um, if it's not too much trouble, could I get a little scratch? I know I must seem all fearsome-"

"Trust me Mr. Vakarian, you are far from the strangest alien I've seen." With a laugh, the nurse gently scratched at his face plates, seemingly just as much out of curiosity as to 'alleviate' her patient's suffering. "Ever help a pregnant Horta deliver? You're quite ordinary in comparison."

"Ouch. I think my ego needs a booster- hippo?"

Her almond eyes twinkling, the nurse laughed, not buying his feigned naivete. "That's hypo, and you know it."

"I might have heard you say so once or twice." He admitted, a teasing gleam in his gaze.

Wrex shook his massive head in annoyance. "I'm gonna be sick. All these raging hormones between you two are enough to choke a thresher maw."

"Way to kill the mood Wrex." Garrus countered under his breath.

With a quiet hiss of the Sick Bay doors a friendly conversation soon flowed into the room.

"Keelah! This ship is _amazing_! But ah, I don't suppose I could look at some of the design specs?"

"I'll ask Commander Riker for you. Be sure to let me know if you need anything else Tali."

"Thank you, I will, and I'm glad you joined us on the Lieutenant's tour Sarah."

"My pleasure ladies."

As he turned towards the conversation, Picard was mildly surprised to see Ensign Hernandez from security and La Forge walk in with the suited alien, Tali, clearly making inroads with the, whatever she was. Picard made a mental note to ask her what her species was called when he had a moment.

Geordi was all smiles as he walked beside the suited woman. "You'd be surprised what a few good conductor coils charged with anti-matter energy can do Ms. Zorah. Or is that Ms. Nar Rayya? I always get those mixed up."

"Please, just call me Tali. And it's alright Mr. La Forge, it took Kara-I mean Commander Shepard and some of the crew a while to figure it out too. Not a lot of people have worked with quarians before, at least, not willingly, but the Commander was welcoming from the start."

"Sounds like she's one heck of a woman, Tali. From what you've told me, it sounds like you got pretty lucky finding her when ya did."

"You have _no _idea." The _quarian _replied, her voice radiating pure adoration towards the woman in question.

His question already answered for him, Picard almost jumped when a soft, feminine voice called out from the other end of the infirmary. When he turned, his eyes fell upon the last of the crew, a blue skinned alien of rather stunning beauty in his humble opinion. "Hello Tali. Did you enjoy your tour?"

"Yes Liara! Lieutenant Commander La Forge is an excellent guide. _And _he's a genius."

"Aw shucks Tali, I'm not-" He never got a chance to finish as Joker and Tasha returned to the infirmary.

Jeff pointed an accusatory finger at Liara before turning his wide eyed stare toward Tali. "What the shit?! You get a friggin' datapad, Tali gets a tour, a _tour_, and Nurse Ratchet over here won't even let me take a piss without being in the same room?! How is that fair?!" Joker paused and gave his frowning escort a satisfied smirk. "Well, that last part was kinda nice actually. Sorta hard with you watching though. Under any other circumstances, I mighta enjoyed it."

Even Yar's icy glare wasn't enough to dampen the man's spirits. "Never going to happen Moreau."

"Keep tellin' yourself that Touchy." Joker replied and limped away as fast as his brittle legs could carry him when he slapped the blonde security chief on the back.

Yar contained herself to a muttered growl. "It's _Tasha_."

"You can stop pretending to be asleep Commander." Karin stated when she passed by Shepard's biobed with a badly disguised grin that encompassed her face. "Everyone's safe and accounted for. Also, everyone in the room can tell you're wide awake just by glancing at the biomonitors."

Picard had to mentally bite his tongue when the woman's emerald eyes snapped open and proceeded to playfully scowl at her ship's CMO. He had seen all that he needed to know that these people were just as tightly bound to each other as his own crew. "Betrayed by medical tech, why am I not surprised. On the bright side, at least you're enjoying having me at your mercy doc."

"You have no idea Kara. I honestly wish we had had this on the _Normandy_, it would have made keeping you confined to the infirmary far easier."

"I'm sure Tali would have hacked the force field by now if she wasn't giving her new nerdy soul mate googly eyes. In an odd way, I'm sort of proud of you. Although in an equally pissed off way, a _little _help wouldn't have hurt." The room at large heard Tali mutter a playful curse towards the woman, which elicited a small chuckle from Shepard.

Walking over to her bed, Picard fought the strong urge to straighten his uniform as Shepard eyed him critically a moment later. For some reason, she reminded him of a couple of his old Academy instructors that had had a tendency to find fault in the smallest things. "Hello Commander, I'm glad to see you and your crewmates suffered no ill effects from my Security Chief's improvisation." Turning to Chakwas with a knowing grin, he gestured to the biobed console. "Doctor, if you please?"

"I don't know Captain, I think I need to run another diagnostic on her amp before I release her." Karin replied, a subtle gleam in her gaze that earned her an annoyed scoff from Shepard for her delaying tactics. "Besides, I'm not quite sure as to how-" Karin gracefully tapped the simple sequence she had no doubt seen earlier into the display as an annoyed Shepard sat up and flexed her shoulders. "Oh, look at that. Beginners luck I suppose."

"I just know I'm going to dread coming here again if all of your infirmary beds can do that Captain." Shepard said as she hopped off the biobed and eyed the sophisticated piece of technology warily. Picard had to stifle his chuckles at the way the woman glared at the device, as if she expected it to bite her.

"I for one have no complaints Shepard!" Garrus quickly tossed out, almost looking sad as his nurse let out a quiet giggle and promptly deactivated his restraining field. "Honestly, I wouldn't have minded being your prisoner for a few more hours."

"Come to my private quarters later. I'm sure I can think of something."

The turian was slightly taken aback by her surprisingly forward offer. "O-kay... Don't mind if I do. Uh, just one question, where are your quarters and how would I go about getting there? Okay, to be fair, that's two questions." A frowning Yar was beaten to the punch by one of the man's own crewmates.

"By the goddess, Garrus, you're incorrigible." Liara groaned with a look of embarrassment for her turian friend.

"Took the words right out of my mouth Liara." Kadian replied.

"I don't suppose you got around to the bodily fluids talk yet, Garrus?" Shepard volunteered with a cocked eyebrow and a mischievous smirk on her face.

Garrus was appalled and shocked by Kara's statement as he rounded on her next. "Shepard!"

The nurse that had been hanging on his every word was quick to sooth his ego though, and grabbed at his long arm just above his elbow. "Yours isn't the first dextro amino species we've come across Mr. Vakarian. I think I can find an anti allergenic hypo easily enough…"

"Oh….well, in that case. Can I at least take you to dinner first, nurse..."

"Vanessa. I'm sure we have plenty of dextro amino meals programmed into the replicator." Shepard and Picard could only watch as a grinning Crusher nodded to Vanessa's unasked question before Garrus and his curious date left the infirmary in stunned silence with a sighing Ensign Hernandez hot on their heels. If Garrus was annoyed when two more security personnel joined them in the corridor, he didn't say anything.

"Did that really just happen?" Kara asked, surprise easily heard in her voice at how quickly Garrus had made a _friend_.

"We're a little more….accepting than you might be used to Commander. But even I'm impressed by your friend's speed in acquainting himself with my crew." Picard stated, having half expected to see a trail of smoke behind the pair that had left so suddenly.

"Wow. Lucky bastard." Joker stared open mouthed at the door before grinning over at Yar who was leaning against a far wall. "Whaddaya say we make it a double date?" Her only reply was to copy the odd, rude hand gesture he had given her when she had told him to speed things up in the lavatory. "I'll take that as a no. Sheesh."

"I'll tell you this much Captain, you don't need to worry about her around Garrus." Kara stated, and some of her crew nodded their heads in agreement or gave voice to the same sentiment.

"I'm quite sure Nurse Melein can handle herself." Picard replied, a small smile appearing on his face despite the odd situation that had just developed. How he had gone from a temporary hostage one moment, to watching one of the very people he had stunned walk into the corridor with one of his medical staff the next was beyond him.

He wasn't all that surprised when Kara crossed her arms and glared at the passageway the two had used to leave the infirmary. For all of her earlier well meaning paranoia and good cheer, she didn't make it any secret about what she'd do if her friend did something to upset any of his people. "Yeah well, if he breaks her heart, I'm breaking something important to him. Preferably _in _him."

"Far be it for me to dictate how you discipline your people Commander." If the last few minutes had taught him anything, it was that despite the harsh and intimidating words she had used, Picard was certain Kara would never permanently injure _any _of her crew.

"Well this has been one hell of an interesting day. My ship's holed by some unknown enemy, three of the damn escape pods malfunctioned, and then _you_ show up. If you don't mind me asking, just who the hell are you people anyway? You're not Alliance, I know that much. Oh, and sorry for the whole taking you hostage thing. It's pretty obvious now that wasn't necessary."

"It's quite alright Commander, and it was a perfectly natural reaction after what you've endured. As for who we are-"

"They are part of an exploration and peacekeeping force called Starfleet, which serves a union of over hundred and fifty worlds called The United Federation of Planets." Picard blinked, having almost forgotten the quiet blue skinned woman as she looked up from her datapad at last, and sat it down on the biobed before standing to her feet. "This particular vessel is a Galaxy class ship designed primarily for exploration, _the USS Enterprise. _NCC-1701-D. It is the fifth ship to carry that name. Every _Enterprise _before this one has been a legend in its own right if the records I've discovered are any indication, and this one is no different."

"I see you've been doing a bit of reading miss..."

"Doctor Liara T'Soni, Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

"A doctor? Of what if I might ask?"

"Xenoarchaeology, specifically into an extinct alien race called the protheans."

"Truly? It's a hobby of mine as well, though I would hardly call myself an expert in the field."

Liara's eyes lit up immediately, her curiosity overcoming her inherently shy nature. "It's so rare to meet anyone interested in my line of work, perhaps we could compare notes at a later time?"

"I'm not going to have to worry about you and the good Captain sneaking away on a _dig_, am I Liara?" Shepard asked, chuckling as the asari's cheeks turned a darker shade of blue for a moment.

Picard quickly found himself warming to both women as he gave Shepard his best charming smile before turning his attention back to Liara. "Only with your permission of course Commander, and I would be honored to speak with a true expert at length Dr T'Soni."

He found her modesty appealing as Liara rubbed the back of her neck at his praise. "Well, I would not go so far as to say I am an expert-"

"She's basically the only person in the galaxy you can talk to about an entire dead race. And believe me, she likes to talk about them. _A lot_. I think she even had a few long winded lectures on their architecture in her sleep once, although I can't be certain on that." Shepard chuckled again, but stopped Liara from protesting further as she walked over to the woman and wrapped her arms around her stomach in a backwards hug before turning to the good captain. "Let's just say our last mission had us investigating a lot of their destroyed cities and any active artifacts we could find."

"Didn't one scramble your brain Commander?" Kaidan asked, and seemed to pale visibly when Shepard cast him a withering glare. "Right, sorry."

Picard feigned ignorance at the way Shepard effectively silenced that line of thought in its tracks. "Incredible! Well, I for one believe that does indeed make you an expert Doctor." Picard couldn't contain his disappointment when a sudden thought struck him. "It is a tragedy that none of what you retrieved survived along with you."

Shepard casually waved off the man's concern. "Liara was religious about having us off load any artifacts that weren't nailed down every chance we got."

Liara raised her arm with an excited gleam in her blue eyes before hesitating. "Shepard, would it be permissible if I-"

Shepard nodded towards the woman's raised arm. "Wasn't exactly classified information in the first place Liara. Feel free."

Biting her lower lip with a knowing grin, Liara activated a glowing holographic device on her arm and brought up several images and three dimensional scans of some of the artifacts they had discovered.

Normally Picard would have been astounded by such a show of unknown advanced technology, but at the moment all of his attention was focused on the images and 3-D scans before him. "Amazing...if I'm reading the carbon dating graph correctly, these objects are _tens _of thousands of years old. Remarkable... I only wish I had had the chance to join one of your expeditions Doctor T'Soni."

"Not if it involved being trapped behind a prothean barrier curtain for three days." Liara countered with an embarrassed chuckle.

"Or being shot at by ruthless mercenaries." Wrex rumbled with amusement. "Good times."

"Or having hundreds of geth trying to kill us." Tali was quick to chime in.

"Or those godawful strobe lights and that horrible techno music in Flux." Kaidan paused as his crewmates stared at him. "What? Ask Chakwas, that place was hell for me to walk into."

"I have one, treating Kaidan's constant migraines-"

"Thanks Doc."

"_And _treating Tali's infections, Wrex's multiple knife, bullet, and bite wounds, Jeff's ongoing treatment, and just general patching up of anyone who came back through the airlock after one of the Commander's missions."

"Easy doc, it's not my fault we're getting shot at all the time." Kara was quick to say in her defense.

"You are sort of a human bullet magnet Commander. Oh! Don't forget the big ass insane houseplant." Joker quickly added with a just noticeable shudder. "Try getting rid of the smell when those mutated freaks exploded all over the hull. It reeked for weeks!"

"Almost getting melted in a volcano wasn't that great, but it was worth it to save you Liara." Shepard grinned down at the just slightly shorter asari next to her.

"I believe the phrase you'd use is 'don't kiss my posterior' Commander." If Picard had any doubts about their relationship, they were thoroughly silenced by the brief but intense look the two women shared with each other.

"Close enough. I _really _need to teach you how to swear better." Shepard grinned at the quiet gasp she got from Liara as she brush her lips against the asari's neck. "And Liara, don't give me any ideas."

That particularly loaded comment had Picard blushing slightly as he caught Beverly's amused gaze for a moment before managing to clear his throat. By some small miracle, he was able to keep his embarrassment from his voice. "I believe I'm needed on the bridge. Thank you for the enlightening conversation."

"One thing Captain." Kara quickly caught up with Picard and put a hand on his shoulder. Any trace of her earlier good cheer had quickly departed, and Picard knew what she was going to ask before she did. "What do you plan to do with us?"

Jean-Luc followed her example and answered her as clearly and seriously as befitting a man of his considerable station. Despite the change of tone to his voice, Picard's compassion and warmth still came through loud and clear. "This vessel is dedicated to discovering new life Commander, regardless of its form. We seek peaceful coexistence and a chance to learn from all those we encounter. As you've seen, some of our crew take those ideals more _literally _than others. For now, you'll be given guest quarters until we reach the nearest starbase. From there, you and your people will be free to go wherever you desire. To decide your own destiny as you see fit."

"Nice speech Captain. Well damn, here I was debating what tech I should share with you in trade for passage and the not so insignificant fact you saved the lives of my crew."

"Materialistic gains have been a thing of the past for some time Commander. Money has no value, crime is virtually nonexistent for us, and no one goes without. We've evolved as a society."

Kara had to stop Picard there as she looked at him with open astonishment. "Wait wait wait. Slow down. How in the hell did you pull that off?"

"The acquisition of wealth is, simply put, no longer the driving force in our lives Commander. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity, along with the various other races that comprise the Federation. I won't lie and say that we don't have our unpleasant issues from time to time, but overall, we've learned from our past and have done all we can to keep the darkest parts of our natures at bay." Shepard didn't miss how Jean-Luc looked to Natasha Yar, a fact he was glad to notice.

"You got her out of a bad situation huh?" Kara asked quietly.

"I wasn't personally involved, but you could call it that. But I don't feel comfortable discussing it any further. The matter is between the Lieutenant and whomever she chooses to share it with."

"Of course sir. The same goes for some of what we've all gone through together." Kara replied simply in turn, her gaze lingering over her crewmates, as Picard nodded to her before leaving sick bay, glad to know that she understood his desire for discretion when it came to certain aspects of his crew's personal lives.

Noticing his departure, Beverly chose that moment to distract the Commander from her thoughts. "Well Commander, Doctor Chakwas and I are happy to tell you that, aside from some mended broken bones, bruises and cuts, your current crew is completely healthy. Jeffrey needed some-"

"Hey! What the hell Doc? Is Doctor-Patient Confidentiality dead in the 24th century or what?"

Beverly had to roll her eyes at Jeff's outburst. "I'm sorry, I meant _Flight Lieutenant Moreau_...needed several osteo regenerator treatments and I'm adding a series of bone strengthening hypo injections to my colleague's current treatment plan. If all goes well, his Vrolik's Syndrome should be a distant irritation at best in a few weeks. It won't be a cure persay, but it should greatly alleviate the worst of his symptoms."

"Thhhaaank you! You're awesome Doc, have I told you that in the last half hour or so?"

"Yes. Repeatedly." Beverly managed not to roll her eyes this time, instead giving the smirking pilot a satisfied grin. "I'll need to run some tests, consult with a few of my associates, and see if a permanent solution can't be synthesized at a later date, but for the moment, you're more than welcome Joker."

"You heard it here first Commander, you might get to see me dance without snapping shinbones after all!"

"Normally I'd run the other way Joker, but I'm glad to hear it. I'll be the first in line to show you some of my dance moves..." Shepard's face went blank for a moment as she replayed Joker's words in her mind. "Wait. Joker. Did you say _24th _century?"

"Ah, no offense Shepard, but _what_ dance moves?" Jeff grinned and slapped his forehead. "Oh right, you were pretending to be asleep. We're in the future Shepard. Don't worry, no Skynet or Agent Smiths running around, already checked."

"Damn..." As if grasping at the only a bit of normalcy in the midst of the insane mess that was her crew's current predicament, Shepard forced herself to focus on Joker's insult for the time being. "And I dance just fine Joker."

"If you call having a seizure dancing." Joker muttered just loud enough to be heard by most of the room.

"Here Shepard, look at this." With a knowing gaze, Liara handed Shepard her borrowed datapad, which just so happened to have a convenient timeline of events in this apparently alternate reality. "According to my reading Kara….it is a little more than that. While we are indeed roughly one hundred and sixty-one years in the future, we're….somehow in a whole other reality. As far as I can tell, mass effect technology was never created, and the Reapers never existed. Along with...many other aspects of our galaxy's history."

"What?" It was the only thing that Kara could manage to say as she looked away from the datapad in her hands.

"I've highlighted certain events for you. Humanity's first contact with alien life is a particularly fascinating subject, as well it's major role in the initial formation of the Federation itself." At Kara's decidedly glazed look, Liara blushed and nodded her head, a sheepish look appearing on her young face. She couldn't blame Shepard for being more interested in their immediate future than the distant past. "Right, sorry Shepard. While none of us, nor our hosts, seem to know how we got here, I only know that all that I've read and seen for myself offers me no other conclusions. We are not where we are supposed to be."

"Where we're supposed to be is floating dead in space, I guess being stuck in another reality isn't such a bad thing in comparison." Kara managed to say, before Wrex walked over and slapped her on the shoulder.

"Buck up Shepard. Doesn't do any good to go around looking like some homesick whelp. I'm going to find something to kill. I'm starving." At Shepard's raised eyebrow Wrex held up his hands. "I know, not the bald human's squishy crew. There's gotta be some pets on this tub though. Don't remember promising anything about _them_."

"Wrex..." Shepard stressed the krogan's name, making the giant alien stop in his tracks.

"Shepard?" Wrex asked, turning his head to look over one giant shoulder.

"You honestly think I'm going to let you eat someone's puppy?"

"Hmm. How do you feel about cats?"

"_Wrex_..."

"Fine! I'll just sit here wasting away then." Wrex plopped down none to gently on the closest empty bed, which gave an ominous creek, his arms crossed over his chest.

Joker was quick to pounce as he glanced at the krogan across the room. "I don't know, Jabba-the-Merc over there _could _stand to lose a few pounds."

Shepard quickly snapped her fingers to get the attention of the room at large. "_Nobody_ explain that reference to Wrex or Joker is dead." It was about that moment that another of the doors to sickbay opened, and she noticed a gold shirted, pale skinned, gold eyed man enter the room.

Cocking a curious eyebrow, Data immediately walked over to a wary looking Jeff. "Quarry, does said reference pertain to a fictional crime lord whose species is reminiscent of giant slugs?"

"Ah shit. Figures that George Lucas just _had _to exist in this weird ass galaxy too. Thanks a lot golden eyes."

Joker knew he was in trouble when Wrex hopped off of the bed and grinned towards Data. "Hey, sickly looking human, want to join me on a human hunt? Won't be a long one mind you, even if I give him a generous five minute head start. Which I'm not going to."

Data minutely cocked his head to the side before speaking again. "I feel compelled to warn you sir, that hunting sentient species, or another variety for that matter, while onboard is against Starfleet regulations and therefore strictly prohibited."

"Guess I finally found someone with a bigger stick shoved up his ass than Garrus." Wrex grumbled in annoyance.

"I assure you, I have no flora based materials internally lodged inside my person. My form is comprised mostly of polyalloys, specifically cortinide, and duranium."

"Your point? I could break you in half with one hand." Wrex countered as he was once again surrounded from head to toe by a dark blue glow, far darker than before.

"I do not believe so sir. My artificial spinal column can easily withstand far more pressure than you could apply."

"You're a robot?" Shepard's eyebrows popped up, instantly concerned about what a certain quarain might do when she found out an advanced AI was walking around sickbay. It turned out she didn't have to wait long.

"I am an android." Data helpfully told her with a nod of his head, mildly curious as to why the woman had attempted to put her hand over his mouth.

Tali turned away from Geordi about the same time and openly gawked at the synthetic in unmistakable horror. "Oh keelah...nonono! You crazy bosh'tets are going to get us all killed!" The orange holographic display on the quarian's raised arm crackled with electrical energy as she took aim at Data.

**Endnotes:** **Archer83;** That didn't end quite as well as I would have hoped...but then again, the universe is not a perfect place.

**Vergil1989; ** Querry. By _didn't end well_, do you mean that we look to be about ready to fry Data's positronic brain beyond repair?

**Archer83; **Now you're getting it! I think that makes you an official Trekkie, or Trekker if you prefer.

**Vergil1989;** Don't get used to it lol. My first love and my loyalties will always belong to Star Wars. I'm simply skirting the line now is all, no thanks to you jerk. :P In all seriousness folks, this has been far more entertaining than I thought it'd be, even if the initial idea popped into my sleep deprived brain late one evening lol. At any rate, if this chapter is anything to go by, then I can only assume the ones that come after will only improve from here. Adios for now guys and gals!

**Archer83; **Oh, and before anyone starts calling this ST; TNG wank, I can assure you that Shepard and her people are going to help come up with plenty of new toys for the _Enterprise_ crew, along with new ways of thinking. They just haven't had the chance to show off yet is all. Be sure to fave, follow, and review! Oh, and be sure to live long and prosper too!


	2. Culture Shock

**Chapter 2: Culture Shock**

**USS **_**Enterprise**_**, Sickbay**

"If I have offended you in some way-" Data paused, quirking a curious eyebrow as La Forge lunged forward and grabbed at the terrified alien woman's arm just as the holographic device discharged.

If not for Geordi's desperate intervention, Tali's Overload pulse would have hit Data square in the chest. Instead, it wound up striking the ceiling, where the pulse momentarily shorted out the lights and interrupted power to sickbay. "Security! Data, get out of here now!" Geordi shouted as he and a determined Shepard tried to restrain the suited woman. The officer had a feeling he wouldn't have been quite as successful if not for the Commander's assistance. "What's the hell going on Shepard?! Why'd she try to kill Data?!"

Yar's hand immediately dropped to her phaser, only to find her holster empty as she noticed, much to her frustration, Joker aiming her own sidearm at her chest. "Sorry. Please don't move...or I'm gonna have to start pressing buttons." Jeff gave a nervous shrug, even as his hand remained steady. "It's my first raygun."

Tasha took one menacing step closer to the pilot, her icy glare boring into him. She could see it plain as day in the sarcastic man's olive eyes, he was no killer. "I'm going to find out _exactly _how brittle your bones really are before your treatment sets in if you don't hand over that phaser in the next three seconds."

The pilot's aim never wavered. Joker only gulped in response, seemingly accepting his fate after all this was over. "As tempting as that is blondie, I ain't letting my friends get zapped twice in one day."

Kara ignored the brewing disaster around her for the moment and grabbed the quarian by the sides of her helmeted head so they were eye to visor. "Tali'Zorah, stand down! That's an order!" Tali ceased fighting and jerked herself away from the redshirted officer, but thankfully remained still. Taking a breath, Shepard squeezed the girl's shoulder in an effort to calm her before turning to La Forge. "Long story, but let's just say we have a problem with _most _forms of synthetic life. They usually try to kill us. A lot."

A split second later two security teams burst through the door, pausing immediately as Yar gave them a slight shake of her head. All of Shepard's other present crew members were standing suspiciously close to the shocked medical staff. She knew better than to provoke a close quarters fight when there was still a chance it could be avoided.

"Commander, let me save them the trouble of scrapping that _thing_." Tali growled through her teeth as she openly glared at Data, as she implored anyone who would listen to realize the deadly threat in their midst. "In our galaxy's history, _every_ form of synthetic life eventually gets the idea that they don't need their creators around anymore and slaughters them. I'd be doing you all a favor!"

Data glanced around the room with a slight look of confusion before addressing the quarian. "I can assure you with absolute certainty, I have absolutely no desire to 'slaughter' any of my crewmates."

"Yet." Tali growled, while Data continued quietly explaining as if she hadn't spoken.

Data nodded to her, addressing the woman as if she were an unruly child. "My creator, Doctor Noonian Soong, was very thorough in eliminating any such negative impulses in my programing when he constructed me. I am able to learn and adapt the more I interact with my fellow crew members aboard the _Enterprise_." Data patiently held up a hand, interrupting another rant from Tali before it could begin. "While it is true that I am capable of defending them and myself from harm, I would never take another life if it could be avoided in any way." Data finished his explanation with a curt nod, not approaching the frightened alien woman but maintaining his distance in the likely event he was forced to assist in subduing her.

Tali wasn't convinced as she turned to the others around them, her voice growing more desperate by the second at their apparent apathy. "Like I said, _yet_. This thing is just biding its time! You _can't_ believe it, you _can't_ trust it! What's _wrong _with all of you?!" Data seemed to frown in confusion, curious as to why he would provoke such a sorrowful plea from the young woman.

Shepard gently rubbed the distraught quarian's shoulder. She obviously knew why, but didn't feel right in discussing it then and there. "Tali. He tried to help us. He didn't attack us, even when we gave him good reason to." Shepard turned to the android for confirmation. "And he certainly would have disabled some of us while we were in the shuttle if he'd wanted to." Something about the android told her that he'd make a formidable enemy if they ever made the mistake of forcing his hand. Far more so than any geth anyway.

Data gave her another curt nod in reply. "That is correct. For the record, I did stun the one you refer to as Urdnot Wrex after you lost consciousness Commander. Three times to be exact."

"Can I rip the pale talking geth apart now Shepard?" Wrex muttered as he cracked his massive knuckles and stepped closer to the gold shirted android.

"That's _enough_! You're all going to the brig. If you resist, we'll be forced to-" Yar's bright blues eyes widened in anger as she heard a beep next to her and turned to glare at Jeff.

"Huh. So that one changes the setting...I mean, my finger slipped." Before Tasha could lunge at the man, he moved a finger over the phaser's firing stud. "Probably means the red one is the trigger huh?"

Tasha looked ready to beat the pilot to death with her bare hands. "You _arrogant_, sarcastic little-"

"Lt. Yar, I would strongly advise against antagonizing our guests further." Yar and Moreau stared at Data as if he had grown a second head while he returned his attention to Tali. "Ms. Vas Normandy, as for your mistaken assumption that I am a danger to you, I believe Lt. Worf could assist in discouraging your highly irrational feelings. Humans often had the same misconception about the Klingon race upon first meeting them. Unfortunately, this played a role in the sporadic conflicts that ensued between the Federation and the Klingon Empire in the approximate two centuries that followed."

If not for Shepard's restraining hand on her shoulder, Tali might have been tempted to take another shot at the artificial officer. "Irrational feelings?! There's nothing _irrational _about my hatred for synthetics, not after what they did to my people!"

"As I do not know the particulars of whatever most disagreeable event involving other artificial life forms occurred, I can only offer you my assurance that you have nothing to fear from me." Data took a moment to glance at the slightly scorched ceiling before continuing as if nothing had happened. "I am curious as to the nature of the energy disturbance several of your crewmates are generating. If I am not mistaken, my sensors indicate that Commander Shepard, Urdnot Wrex, Lieutenant Alenko, and Doctor T'Soni are all generating small amounts of this same type of unknown energy. I would posit that this is the cause of the glowing energy fields displayed by the Lieutenant and Urdnot Wrex."

"Well there goes the element of surprise." Kaidan muttered with a dark chuckle, but anyone within earshot could clearly tell he was only half joking. At Data's curious look, Kaidan looked to Shepard, who only shrugged.

"I can assure you Lieutenant, you never possessed it in the first place. Our sensors are reliably accurate down to the subatomic level." Data helpfully offered as the rest of his crewmates warily observed the standoff around them.

Not exactly confident that Tali was going to refrain from trying to fry the android again, Shepard gently removed her omni-tool. Ignoring the look of betrayal she knew was being directed at her from behind that tinted visor, Kara firmly sat the young quarian on a nearby bed. "If you ever trusted me Tali, trust me now." She whispered, and Tali reluctantly nodded her head in acceptance. It was enough for her as she squeezed Tali's shoulder again in silent thanks. Shepard was quick to change the subject away from her engineer's attempt to murder one of Captain Picard's crew while arguing Data's point as she kept herself between Tali and the self described android, just in case. "Trust me, you might know about the existence of our ability to manipulate dark energy, but that's a far cry from understanding what we can actually do with it."

All eyes in sickbay carefully watched as Shepard walked over to Joker, cautiously taking the phaser from his hand, and presenting it to Yar, grip first, as her snarky pilot started to sweat profusely. "Ah crap. Thanks for that Shepard, really." To his immense relief, one look at the blonde security officer's mildly stunned expression told him that she was too surprised by the Commander's actions to think of harming a hair on his head. At least for the moment.

A loud, concerned voice filled the infirmary a moment later making a nervous Jeff jump, much to Tasha's apparent satisfaction. "Riker to Security, report! Is anyone hurt?! I need to know what the hell is happening down there now!"

"We're all fine sir. Just a slight….misunderstanding is all." Yar muttered, still not taking her eyes off of the formerly shy and polite alien engineer.

"Is that so? I'll be down shortly to deal with our _guests_." Riker growled before cutting the comm link.

Jeff winced at the venom in the man's voice. "Wow. He sounds super pissed."

"You have no idea." Tasha quietly whispered.

Data meanwhile returned to his original line of thought after nodding his approval of Yar's efficient handling of the situation. "If I were to make an educated guess, I would hypothesize a person with your abilities could form protective barriers, create micro singularities and other disruptions in spacetime, and affect a subject's mass directly, making it easier to move the subject in question as you wish. I have extrapolated two hundred and fifty-seven specific examples if you would like to hear more."

Kaidan was the first to summarize their current predicament. "Yep, we're screwed." The biotic cast Data a curious glance, lightly rubbing at his forehead. "And does he always ignore everything going on around him like that?"

"He's certainly persistent, you gotta give him that." Shepard wasn't so easily dismayed as she grinned towards the highly sophisticated android. "As I said, you can analyze us all you want Data, but sapient ingenuity can still surprise you. Trust me, I know. I once Threw a batarian slaver out an open airlock before he could get a shot off. Never knew what hit him."

"Correction, two hundred and fifty-eight." More than a few people could swear there had been a flicker of amusement on the otherwise emotionless android's face.

"Let's not tell him about the creative uses one can apply while in the bedroom." Liara replied barely above a soft whisper, hoping her comment wasn't heard by the android.

She was mortified when he turned his gaze on her next. "I have already included many possible applications which can be safely used to enhance coitis, Doctor T'Soni. Do you wish to hear-"

"No! I mean, that's quite alright Data." Liara quickly and loudly interrupted in badly hidden mortified shame.

Data's mouth snapped shut before he finally replied. "I see. As you wish Doctor."

Shepard sighed and rubbed at her forehead this time before turning to the rest of her crew. They were hiding it, but they were just as shell shocked as she was. And despite Tali's desire to turn Data into a smoking pile of spare parts, she too was just as shaken up as the rest of them. "Is there...I know after that incident we should probably just be thankful you haven't thrown us into a brig by now, but is there any way we can just start over? It's pretty damn clear you people aren't a threat, and I promise to keep _my_ people on their best behavior from now on."

"What are you gonna do, toss us out an airlock Shepard? You don't even know where the nearest one is." Wrex bellowed with a mocking laugh, until Liara handed Shepard a data pad that was.

"Hmm. Let's see...twenty-three meters close enough for you Wrex? Now _sit down,_ shut the hell up, and let me think, before you _really _start piss me off."

"This is her calm?" Yar whispered towards Joker, who only grinned and nodded his head.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." The huge krogan grumbled. "My feet were tired anyway."

"Might I suggest that all of us get some much needed food and rest?" Karin chimed in, drawing the _Normandy's _crew collective gazes. "We've been running on fumes since we arrived. And I know how cranky you can be when you haven't slept Commander." While it had come out as a joke, Chakwas wasn't smiling. "And before any of you say a word, being 'stunned' doesn't count."

At that moment, the door to sick bay hissed open as Commander Riker shoved his way past the guards that had ran in five seconds ahead of him. "Alright, that's _it_ Shepard. From now on you and your people will play nice with _my _people and be treated fairly, or I'd be just as happy to dump all of you in the brig for the rest of your hopefully _short _stay aboard this ship."

"Riker..." Shepard's defensive glare softened and she took a moment to choose her words carefully. Maybe using blunt honesty would serve her better than threatening Riker with the closest heavy and or pointy object she could get her hands on. "You know what, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest." Shepard finally replied as she glared at Tali, who had thankfully calmed down enough to look ashamed for her earlier outburst. Well, at least Shepard could tell she was clearly ashamed. "Don't worry, if my people cause any more trouble, I'll gladly stick my boot up their ass."

Riker was slightly taken aback by Shepard's calm demeanor, but he recovered quickly. "Well then...the Captain, despite my strongly worded objection, has authorized guest quarters for you and your people, as well as access to non essential areas of the ship. I'd stick to your quarters mostly if I were you."

"Tell Captain Picard that I deeply appreciate his generosity. And Riker?" Shepard took a step closer to the clean shaven XO, looking slightly abashed. "I don't know how, but I'm going to make up for all the bullshit I've managed to put you and your people through. You...happened to catch us on a _very_ bad day."

"Just make sure it doesn't get any _worse_." Riker replied, his tone containing a measure of sympathy for their plight even if he was still angry for the trouble they had caused already. "I'm going to have to insist you and your people hand over any and all additional weapons Commander. That's _not_ something I'm willing to negotiate on."

"Understandable." Kara said with a slight shrug before turning to the rest of her people. "Everyone, if you've got hidden weapons still on you, I want them in a pile on the deck next to me along with your omni-tools and your amps in the next two minutes." Shepard rolled her green eyes as Kaidan, Liara, Tali, Joker, and Wrex all shared less than subtle glances. "And no, this is not a 'I really want you to hold onto anything you can get away with' situation."

To show she wasn't screwing around, Shepard was the first to pull the omni-tool from her arm before going for the hidden knife in her right boot. It wasn't until she started for the amp in the back of her neck that Riker saw the first sign of hesitation.

At his raised eyebrow, she answered his unspoken question as she finally disengaged the amp and slowly pulled it free of its port. "To me, I might as well be removing a hand. It's a vital part of being a biotic."

"It'll be well taken care of, you have my word on that Commander." Riker said before he nodded his head towards Yar and her people to start collecting the crew's gear that they'd missed.

He personally collected the small 'amp' devices from Alenko, Liara, Wrex, and Shepard as her crew followed Shepard's lead and divested themselves of any possible weapons, before handing them to Yar for safe keeping. It wasn't until Yar got to Tali that Riker briefly wondered if they'd have enough storage as the young quarian kept turning her deceptively tight suit's pockets inside out, creating a pile almost half as big as the others combined.

The fact the massive krogan merely grumbled to himself as he had handed over his own amp and a bare bones omni-tool was a testament to Wrex's obvious loyalty to the Commander. Not exactly one to be easily startled, Will almost jumped back when Wrex held up a finger, reached into his right boot, and pulled out a holdout weapon that was almost as big as the human's arm. Riker was shocked when Shepard looked at the krogan in surprise, to which Wrex merely chuckled and scratched the back of his head in sheepish resignation.

"There, happy now _Number One_?" Shepard smirked at the man's astounded look as he took in the small arsenal the security teams were currently cataloging. Will opted not to openly notice as Shepard's eyes widened in realization a moment later. "Oh crap... Garrus. I swear to God, if he-"

Riker chuckled and held up a hand to stop her tirade before it could gain anymore steam, slapping at his comm badge. "Not a problem. Riker to Ensign Hernandez, I need you and you team to disarm Mr. Vakarian. Politely."

The amused chuckle on the other end was slightly unexpected. "No need sir. He already handed over an impressive collection of knives and various other weapons along with that holographic device they all seem to have on their arms. Personally, I think he was trying to impress his 'dinner date' Commander."

Shepard leaned in unnecessarily close and spoke into Riker's comm badge as he gave her a dubious stare. "Search him again. And then one more time just to be on the safe side. Trust me, you'll thank me later." 'Dinner date?' Riker silently mouthed, as Shepard held up her arms in exasperation. "It's Garrus, what can I say? He's harmless, Nurse Melein is probably the safest person on this entire ship right now."

"Right. I might need to have a talk with her about her...overzealous welcome. Being friendly is one thing, I just don't want to see her get hurt." Riker knew full well just how hypocritical he sounded to his own people right now, but they were at least professional enough not to call him out on his own rather overly friendly behavior when it came to members of the fairer sex in front of Shepard.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Chakwas snarked, delighted to see the hint of a blush on Riker's cheeks.

"All of this has been most fascinating, but if you don't mind, I think I'd like to see these guest quarters we were promised." Liara stated as she started for the doors.

"Oh, of course, if you'll all follow me?" Riker offered, as he straightened his uniform and gestured towards the door.

"Um, I wouldn't blame you for saying no, but, if the Lt. wouldn't mind, could I finish the tour?" Tali's crewmates looked at the suited woman with astonished expressions, even Wrex seemed mildly impressed. "Keelah, I'm sorry, I'll just shut up now."

La Forge sighed at the petite quarian girl, who couldn't quite bring herself to look him in the eye, and finally relented. "If you promise not to try and vaporize anymore of my friends, yes, I'd be happy to."

Tali nodded her head slowly and held up her hands to show she had no intention of doing anything rash again. "I couldn't even if I wanted to Lt. La Forge." She stated before a nervous chuckle escaped her.

"Oh, I think you'd be clever enough to think of something." La Forge offered her a grin, an obvious olive branch to try and get back on the right track with his fellow engineer.

"Perhaps I could be of assistance-" La Forge's cough was enough for Data to get the less than subtle point. Shepard frantically waving him off behind Tali's back was even less subtle. "Ah, I see. I believe I am needed on the Bridge, Geordi. Enjoy the remainder of your tour Ms. Vas Normandy." With that, Data headed towards the corridor, careful not to get too close to Tali on his way out.

"Why do I feel like a total bosh'tet all of a sudden?" Even Tali wasn't blind or arrogant enough not to notice the almost hurt look on the android's face when he had left sick bay. Even if it had been her imagination at work, the quarian couldn't help but wonder if she might have made a mistake before shaking her head in an effort to clear her thoughts.

"Don't worry about it, Data doesn't exactly hold a grudge, and I'm to willing give you another shot." The officer shrugged as he offered the girl his arm. "Wouldn't be much of a galaxy without second chances." La Forge grinned as Tali's bright eyes flicked away from his VISOR for the fifth time in the last hour. "You _can_ ask me about it you know. I won't bite."

"Enough of this mushy crap. Where can I get some food and a decent bottle of ryncol?" Wrex grumbled as he hopped off of the biobed and started across the infirmary.

Will frowned as he paused mid step, obviously hoping to just get them in quarters and have one less headache to worry about. "If you _insist_, Ten Forward should have-"

"Got it."

Riker's frown deepened as Wrex headed for the door, utterly ignoring the four security officers following him. "Um, the computer can give you directions to-"

"Let me guess. Deck Ten, at the bow. I'm not a moron you shaven pyjack infant." Wrex grumbled on his way out with a wave over his shoulder.

Jeff took that moment to lean closer toward a disgusted looking Yar, the leer on his face probably not helping matters. "Sounds fun. Don't suppose I could buy you a drink?"

Tasha managed to loom over the hunched man, her blue eyes burning with a cold fire. "I would rather clean every lavatory on this ship with a sonic toothbrush."

"So...is that a yes or a no on the drinks thing?" When Yar put a hand on Jeff's shoulder and squeezed hard, Joker went still as a statue. "Definitely no, got it! Um….you can let me go now Touchy? Ow! Damn! Tasha, Tasha Whatever-Hell-Your-Name-Is!"

"That's _Lieutenant_ Yar to you." With a barely audible hiss, Tasha yanked her hand away, leaving Jeff with a bruised but unbroken shoulder.

Kara chose that moment to open her mouth in an effort to defuse the tension between Joker and Tasha. "Anyone else wanna go join Wrex, maybe start a pool on how long it takes for him to throw something? Or someone." Shepard laughed at Riker's frown. "Don't worry, we'll work on your sense of humor, or lack there of Bab- Commander Riker."

"I was planning on taking a hot shower, eating a hot meal, and getting some much needed rest. Shepard...why don't you join me?" Liara asked, more like demanded, as she started to pull Shepard towards the door after her only stopping at a panel by the exit. "Computer, please direct me to the location of our guest quarters please."

"Work work work." Shepard chuckled even as she was yanked towards the door with Liara all but dragging her away. "Thanks for the offer, but I think I can handle this one on my own Riker."

"Very funny." William grunted in reply, having a pretty good idea what the woman had hinted at before she and the asari had disappeared, nodding to himself with a quiet whisper. "Lucky woman."

"Well, guess I know where I'm going. Hey Commander, does this place have a gym by chance?" Kaidan asked as he hopped off of the biobed and started towards the same panel Liara had used, prepared to ask for directions.

Riker was at his side a moment later, apparently not needed here. He needed to go back to the Bridge anyway, and the mildly crestfallen look on his face certainly didn't have anything to do with a woman who had had a gun to his head hours earlier continuing to walk all over him. "We have a number of fitness areas on this ship, but we also have a state of the art holodeck. I'm sure Lt. Yar would be happy to show you the way."

"Yeah, let's do that Alenko." Joker added, much to Tasha's blatant frustration.

"Please follow me gentlemen." She managed to get out past her grinding teeth.

"Could you _stop_ trying to piss her off every chance you get?" Riker heard Kaidan grumble as he helped the pilot to his feet before they started to catch up with Tasha. "She seems like a good person Joker."

"Yeah, good at terrifying me." Jeff muttered back.

Kaidan stared down at the grinning man and glared at him in exasperation, not even bothering to lower his voice. "Then why are you joining us?"

"Seriously? Have you _seen _her?!" Joker exclaimed, a bit too loudly for Yar's taste, lightly touching her shoulder before jerking his hand away when her eyes looked about ready to sear his hand off at the stomp. "Kaidan, Tasha, Tasha, Kaidan, the most mind numbingly decent guy I know. Seriously, total bore fest. I'm _way _more interesting."

"Joker..." Kaidan muttered, feeling a migraine coming on already.

Joker shook his head in annoyance while still managing to keep both eyes on the shapely officer next to them. "Fine. But seriously Alenko, take _a look _at a woman sometime. Ya won't regret it. Probably."

"You do know I can hear both of you right?" Yar shot over her shoulder. "Even though I'm desperately trying not to."

Kaidan sighed heavily, having a feeling his day was about to get a lot longer. "Sorry ma'am...I'll apologize for him since he's not going to. Joker's just...well Joker."

"Hmm, I like a man with manners." Yar smirked at the flush in Alenko's cheeks as she took her time looking him up and down.

"What the shit Alenko?! I can't get her to stop scowling at me for two hours and you get a smile in five minutes?!" Joker quietly whispered to the taller man as they followed the shapely Lt. into what had to be an elevator. "It's official, my life sucks."

**Ten-Forward**

**Twenty Minutes Later...**

"You're an interesting fellow." Wrex looked up from his small glass of something that was supposed to be similar to ryncol, and narrowed his red eyes when his gaze fell on a strangely dressed older human woman. "Not the talkative type huh? You kinda remind me of Worf."

"Worf, you mean the bone headed whelp I've heard about?" Wrex asked with his usual lack of tact. "I owe him, shot me with one those puny children's toys you call a weapon."

"I'm gonna take a guess and say you're used to something with a little more kick." He didn't miss the way her gaze fell on his glass nor her accurate observation regarding his preferences towards weaponry. Without a word, she took his glass and replaced it with something far stronger before an already irritated Wrex could say a word. "Try this. A big fellow like you might appreciate something that bites back."

"It's green...and glowing." Wrex said after staring at his glass for a couple of seconds.

"My, aren't you the observant one. It's a little something from the Ficus sector. Try it, I think you'll like it." The older woman said with a nod of her head towards the glass.

With a grunt Wrex grabbed the glass and downed it in on shot. "Huh. Not bad I guess."

"Give it a second." She warned, and grinned when Wrex coughed when the drink hit his stomach. She knew better than most what happened when Firebrandy mixed with the contents of someone's stomach. It usually felt like a bomb had gone off, leaving the drinker stumbling away after one shot. "Another?"

"Why not?" Wrex said with a just noticeable grin pulling at his scarred, grizzled face.

"Mind if I join you?" The woman asked with a smirk, already having poured two more glasses of the odd brandy. "Name's Guinan."

"Urdnot Wrex. Most just call me Wrex." He shrugged since he didn't care one way or the other what she called him, tossing back the second glass and feeling the pleasant burn down his gullet.

"Nice to meet you Wrex." Guinan impressed the old krogan battlemaster as she downed her drink without so much as a grimace. "You know, you seem like the type that's seen his fair share of adventure."

"Funny. Was gonna say the same thing about you human. It's the eyes. You're an 'old soul' as your people say."

"Been around the galaxy a few times." Guinan admitted, leaving Wrex to unravel her cryptic response. "But I'm not that interesting. Not human either. But I'm sure you've seen a few things that would surprise an old woman like me."

"Huh. I _thought_ you smelled wrong for a human." Wrex noted with a nod of his head.

The long lived bartender smiled. "I'm gonna try to take that as a compliment Wrex."

"Take it however you like." Wrex muttered, shrugging as Guinan poured him another drink.

Laughter from the far corner of the lounge caught their attention as Wrex looked over his massive humped shoulder with an annoyed huff. The sight of Garrus flirting with the infatuated female from their med bay was enough to make him roll his beady red eyes before turning back to his drink.

"He _is _quite the character, isn't he?" Guinan grinned at the pair, nodding her head towards Garrus. "I can see why Vanessa is so taken with him."

"She must have a thing for morons." Wrex grumbled to himself.

The bartender seemed to consider the less than generous opinion for a moment. "Hmm. Makes up for it with his charm though. First thing he did when they walked in here was offer to buy his _chaperones _a round of drinks." Guinan tilted her heads towards the trio at a nearby table who were keeping an eye on the turian while they quietly sipped their synthol.

"Good plan." Wrex nodded in admiration before downing another shot.

Guinan leaned over the bar, a conspiratorial smirk on her dark lips. "Plan?"

"Get your security escort drunk off their asses and then slip away. Or kill them. Either way works I guess." Wrex offered with a casual shrug of his massive shoulders.

"Aren't you the pessimistic one. I'd say that, right now, Garrus' only _plan_ is to try and relax after a pretty stressful day." Guinan gestured towards the battered wreck of the _Normandy_ outside the large forward view ports. Several tiny craft moved about the vessel like an angry swarm of bees, attempting to strengthen her hull so that the _Enterprise _could safely tow her to the nearest starbase. "You should try it some time. Some of my regulars even take a load off and grab a bar stool for instance."

"I'll stand. Besides, I'd probably crush your flimsy crap furniture anyway." Wrex grunted, but a tiny grin tugged at his scarred face.

Giving a melodic chuckle, Guinan poured the fellow 'old soul' another drink. "I like you Wrex, you're funny."

"If you say so human. 'Cuse me, gotta knock a righteous turian down a peg or ten." Wrex said as he started away.

Guinan stopped him from leaving the bar however when she spoke again, an amused smirk on her dark skinned face. "I get it, you're obviously good friends. Messing with each other is just how you show it. It's actually kind of-"

"Confusing?" Wrex offered with a frown. "Garrus is _not _my friend."

"Just keep telling yourself that big guy. And I was going to say _cute_. Almost like he's your little brother."

"He is _not_ my brother, little or otherwise." Irritated, Wrex stopped leaning against the bar, and brought himself up to his full height. "And cute. _Cute_? I'm a krogan, not a clown. We don't do _cute_."

Wrex cocked an eye ridge as the woman gave an involuntary shudder. "Personally, I think clowns are terrifying. You're downright adorable in comparison Wrex." Guinan leaned towards the massive glaring krogan before pointing a finger at him. "Actually, you remind me alot of someone I used to know. Doctor Leonard McCoy. Man had a terrible bedside manner, but a heart of gold-pressed latinum."

Blanching at her comparison, a taloned hand slapped Wrex on the back before he could say a word. "Hey Wrex, making new friends already I see."

Glad for the interruption, the krogan didn't look over his shoulder as he addressed the turian. "What do you want Vakarian? Advice on how to properly satisfy a female maybe?"

"Nah. Got that covered buddy. Thanks anyway." Garrus threw a talon over his shoulder at the security escorts as he turned to Guinan. "Another round for my watchful friends over there, and what would you suggest for the lady?"

Guinan thought for a moment before raising a finger with a knowing grin. "Hmm...two Cardassian Sunrises it is."

"Whatever works." Garrus replied with as a grin appeared on his mandibled face.

"You tell the female human about that varren scale itch problem you've got yet?" Wrex muttered just loud enough to ensure that Garrus' 'date' heard him. Garrus sputtered into his glass and shot the krogan a withering glare for the blatant lie. "Figured she might want to know before you start testing your reach and her flexibility in her quarters."

Garrus' mandibles drooped in shock as he turned to find Vanessa standing right behind him. "He's joking. Trust me, we don't get scale itch. We have a little more class than some species I could name."

Vanessa took that moment to join the alien duo at the bar. "You can be completely honest with me. Do I have to take you back to sickbay and run another scan?" The nurse eyed Garrus closely, looking far more concerned and far less disgusted than Wrex would have preferred.

"NO! I mean, unless that's an invitation to play doctor…." Vanessa grinned at Garrus' proposal while the turian smirked at the disgusted krogan next to him.

Guinan meanwhile had since moved on to tend to another patron, a giant grin of her own at the playful banter she had overheard. Life aboard the _Enterprise _promised to be a bit more entertaining for a while if Wrex and Garrus were any indication. In her opinion, they were exactly what the Federation's flagship needed.

**Guest Quarters, Deck 9**

Shepard felt the breath knocked out of her lungs as Liara practically threw herself at the woman, smashing her into the closest bulkhead. "Whoa! Someone's awfully eager to please…"

"Oh? And what does my lovely Commander wish for?" Liara asked seductively, a predatory gleam in her bright blue eyes.

"Pretty much this, maybe just with a little less bruising." Shepard chuckled, even as she pressed her right hand against the middle of Liara's back.

"You'll survive Kara..." The asari stated before bringing her mouth crashing against the human woman's lips.

"No so sure about that." Shepard gasped as she hesitantly pulled away for air roughly thirty seconds later.

"This coming from a woman who took on a pack of krogan mercenaries, and won." Liara countered.

"Being around you is much more dangerous...not to mention strenuous." Shepard playfully winced as she made a show of stretching her arms over her head.

It was all Shepard could do not to satisfy the hunger in the young asari's eyes, wanting to make this moment last as long as possible. "You didn't complain when we were preparing for Illios. Or any of the nights since... I suppose we'll just have to work on improving your stamina my Commander."

"You got me there Liara. Passing out on you last time _was _sort of embarrassing." Melding with an asari for the first time was not something you forgot. Melding with an asari like Liara was even more memorable, especially since there was something more to them than simple physical attraction.

"And I don't recall complaining about it. You needed the rest. Goddess knows when you last slept Kara…." It was her turn to pull away as Liara gently ran her fingertips along the woman's cheek.

"Well, still impolite to fall asleep next to a beautiful naked woman..." Shepard whispered as she gently nuzzled Liara's neck before running her fingers across her head fringe. A small, quiet moan escaped the asari at the gentle caress across her scalp. "I've had time to read up on….asari physiology."

"I noticed. That explains….what you were doing at all hours of the night...watching those 'instructional' pronographic vids. I was starting to get jealous."

"You know me, I like to be prepared for anything." Just as she was about to reach the back of Liara's head, where there were a few nerve bundles just waiting to be touched, an annoying chime alerted them to someone wishing to enter. "You've gotta be _kidding _me. If that's their idea of a doorbell, I'm shooting the damn thing." Kara hissed, half tempted to grab her gun and do exactly that at that moment. She hardly eyed a stylish, heavy looking, vase instead when her hand slapped against her thigh.

Liara wiggled her finger seductively. "Shepard... these people have been exceedingly generous to all of us. I don't think it's too much to ask that you try and be civil in return. If only for a few more minutes...then you can be as savage as you like..."

"Hey! I can be civil. I just don't like to be interrupted when I'm trying to _entertain _you." Kara grinned before reluctantly pulling away from the beautiful asari and straightening her clothes before she hit the door control.

Troi's knowing smirk wasn't helping Shepard's mood as she stared down the ship's counselor. "Hello...maybe I should come back later..."

"Oh no, it's alright. Liara was just reminding me to be kind to our saviors. She's right, but then again she usually is." Liara rolled her eyes at Shepard's sarcasm, but Kara smiled despite her irritation at having been interrupted. She had been honest about most of what she had said since Liara _was _right, even if Kara didn't want to admit it so easily.

"Well 'saviors' is a bit much. More like concerned and helpful people. Besides, you seem like a very ingenuitive woman Commander. I'm sure you would have thought of something if we hadn't come along when we did."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Yes, our Commander is most ingenious. As a matter of fact, Shepard was in the process of kicking the only inoperative escape pod when your vessel first arrived."

"Traitor." Liara giggled at Shepard's comment before she turned to Troi again. "I'm a marine, not an engineer, that's what I keep Tali around for. Give her time and a box of scraps and she can always find a way out of a sticky situation."

Troi grinned at the woman's slightly flushed cheeks. "You remind me of Will, I mean Commander Riker. He's also tends not to be very...technical minded at times."

"Sometimes the only solution is a straightforward one." Liara said as she nodded to Shepard with open admiration. "Other times, it takes someone to think their way around a problem."

Shepard's eyes twinkled as her own knowing grin appeared. "And Will huh? You guys must be a little more lax on the regs if everyone is on a first name basis around here..." It was Troi's turn to blush, not used to others reading her own facial expressions as easily as she could read theirs. "Don't worry, I'm not one to judge. You could certainly do worse than Baby Face. Be honest, the sex is great right?"

"Kara!" Liara growled, the woman she loved causing her to shake her head and facepalm yet again that day.

Ignoring the mortified asari, Troi cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms. "If I didn't know any better Commander, I'd hazard a guess and say you've had training in basic psychology or its equivalent."

"Not quite. I've always been good at reading people, that's all. It helped me pull a disparate crew together, to form something that no one thought could ever work as well as it has for us."

Nodding in understanding, Troi got to the point at hand. "Captain Picard asked me to check on you and your crew, to see how well all of you are settling in so far. I'd also like to provide my services as ship's counselor. With your permission of course, Commander."

"I don't see a problem with it." Kara said with a shrug. "This is usually the part where I say I'm fine, that you or your captain don't have to worry, but I get the feeling you wouldn't buy that. Besides, we've been through a lot in the past several hours. I'm not pigheaded enough yet to try and weasel out of being shrunk."

Much to Shepard's semi delighted shock, Liara promptly started backing Troi into the corridor, the petite archaeologist almost managing to look intimidating. "Thank you Counselor Troi, and thank the Captain for his concern when you see him again. But _I _would appreciate it if you kept everyone away for the next...few hours."

It took a great effort on Deanna's part not to laugh at the look on an embarrassed Shepard's face as a downright possessive Liara all but shoved the raven haired counselor out the door. "Something tells me I should go now." Troi stated just as the door to the guest quarters slammed in her face.

She stayed a moment, letting the rather intense feeling of their love, need, and almost desperate desire wash over her before she walked away. Despite what they had tried to say to the contrary, they weren't as alright as they had tried to appear. She'd pass the asari's request along, give them their time to try and come to terms in their own way, but she'd also recommend to Picard that she be allowed to try and help them in her own unique way. That was what she was onboard the _Enterprise _for after all, to provide emotional support and direction to those that had lost their way.

"You got kicked out I take it?" Troi turned and smiled warmly at Tali, sans Geordi. The two guards on her tail were trying their best not to smirk, having seen the whole incident. At her nod, the quarian chuckled and started towards the closest turbolift. "That happened a lot on the _Normandy_. Don't take it personally. _Nobody _can bother those two when they want to be alone, short of someone attacking us anyway."

"They truly love each other." Troi didn't need her empathic abilities to see that for herself. The way they looked at each other was the first of many dead giveaways that she had observed.

"Yeah they do. But that tends to happen when you constantly face impossible odds and tomorrow could be your last day." Tali replied, and Troi couldn't help but sense something that felt close to jealousy emanating from the young quarian mechanic.

Before she could try and probe further, they were forced to make way for another group. "Ladies." Kaidan offered with a nod as he helped dragged a groaning Joker between himself and Lt. Yar.

Facepalming, Tali glared through her visor at the dripping wet trio as they trudged down the hall. "What did our sarcastic bosh'tet of a pilot manage to do now?"

"Ow! Watch the..._.everything_!" Jeff muttered as he winced in pain with every step. "See if I go anywhere with you guys again. Almost preferred having Shepard try to rip my arm off."

"Took a little walk around a forest, their holographic tech is amazing!" Kaidan all but gushed before looking towards Joker. "Unfortunately, it proved a little _too _real for him and he slipped when we tried to cross a stream. He ended up taking an unexpected dip in the cold water and we had to go in after him."

"I might have forgotten to tell your talkative friend there was a loose rock in the stream." Tasha admitted with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "It didn't help that he wasn't watching where he was going."

"Hey, I liked the view I had just fine." Joker declared with a shit eating grin, scanning the sopping wet Lt. from head to toe as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I bet." Tali said with an audible roll of her eyes. "So he was staring at your butt I take it Lt. Yar? No wonder he _slipped_."

Troi chose that moment to quietly whisper into the blonde security officer. "You pushed him in didn't you?"

There was a hint of more than amusement behind Yar's face, and it brought a subtle smirk to the counselor's lips. "I might have given him a little help, he needed to cool off." Tasha shamelessly admitted with a slight shrug.

"We _can _hear you, you know. And I _love_ a woman that can't keep her hands off me." Not even Yar's icy glare could dispel the grin Joker was flashing her now.

An amused Troi glanced at Tasha before she locked her gaze on the limping pilot. "Normally I would encourage you to better control your impulsive emotions Lt, but in this case, I think it was clearly justified."

The look on Jeff's face made it clear Deanna's comment had deflated his oversized ego. "Ow. Even the hot shrink doesn't like me. There goes that awesome threesome idea."

With a sigh, Troi put a hand on the man's shoulder, careful not to apply too much pressure. "Any woman would be lucky to have you Mr. Moreau, provided you could lose some of your snark and try to act a little more mature ." Joker perked up at Deanna's words as Kaidan and Yar helped him back to sickbay.

"You realize you just gave his ego a giant boost right? Still, he is a good man, for a crazy bosh'tet." Tali stated, her visor covered eyes giving off their own share of amusement and respect for the pilot. "I wish he'd be more careful, but just try telling him that and see what happens."

Deanna's small smile disappeared as she regarded the quarian with renewed interest. "Be honest, how long has he used this sarcastic veneer to keep others from getting too close to him?" Feeling Tali's surprise and wariness, not to mention seeing her saucer sized eyes, Troi quickly explained. "He hides his true feelings well, almost as if he has had a great deal of practice doing so. On the outside at least."

"How could you possibly know that so quickly?" Tali asked, taking a nervous step back before she could stop herself.

She knew that question had been coming since the moment they had determined the _Normandy's _crew were apparently not of this galaxy, if their scans of the odd ship and crew were correct. So Deanna was prepared with the same answer she had given many others in the past. "I'm half betazoid, which means I am empathic. I can sense other people's feelings, no matter what species they are." Feeling the frightened emotions pouring off the girl, Deana was tempted to try and physically comfort her, but knew better. "Like the nervous panic and distrust you're experiencing right now. I could help you alleviate your chronic mild panic attacks if you like."

"Thanks but no thanks." Tali started away, but stopped and looked over her shoulder at the strange woman. "...I appreciate your offer, but there are few people I trust on this ship. But if you don't give me a reason otherwise, you might be one of them. One day."

It was a step in the right direction in the counselor's opinion. "I'll take that as a good sign then." Deanna told her with a confident nod as the quarian turned to look over her new quarters.

Troi hadn't made it five meters down the corridor before Tali was dashing back towards her, her grinning escorts in casual pursuit. "I-I think there's been a mistake." Wringing her lithe fingers yet again, Tali didn't seem to notice it this time, only stopping to gesture towards the quarters she must have mistakenly entered. "Sorry, could you point me toward my room? In the Flotilla, not even an admiral would be assigned these quarters! You could fit two families in one!"

Troi nodded to the younger woman, smiling as she pointed at the room Tali had just dashed out of. "They truly aren't that special Miss Zorah. They are standard fare for most of the Enterprise's guests and crew. And since some of the crew have brought their families with them, their accommodations need to be big enough to support more than one person comfortably. We do have smaller quarters aboard however. If you'd prefer, I can ask someone to move you to a smaller unit." Just the hint of a grin pulled at Troi's lips as a thought crossed her mind, quickly reviewing Tali's words. "You might even have to share one."

Deanna managed not to smirk as the alien girl stared at her from behind her visor for a good ten seconds. "Really?! Thank you! I mean- That would be more than sufficient." Tali was bobbing her head so fast Troi found herself mildly concerned her envirosuit helmet might fall off.

Crossing her arms, Deanna gave the fascinating woman a curious look. "If you don't mind me saying so, I'm surprised you haven't requested a sterile room for your private use. It wouldn't be any trouble, I assure you."

"I couldn't possi- I mean I appreciate the off- I'm rambling aren't I?" Taking a breath, Tali started wringing her hands, much to Troi's silent amusement, and immediately jerked her hands apart when she realized what she was doing. "I must look like a stupid bosh'tet right now."

Troi shook her head, flashing the quarian her most reassuring smile. "Not at all Miss Zorah."

The girl was quick to hold up a hand. "Tali….call me Tali. Miss Zorah was my mother. I'm not that old yet."

Making a mental note of Tali speaking of her mother in the past tense, Troi kept the cheery smile on her face, even if it couldn't quite reach her eyes. "Alright, Tali. Just speak with one of your ridiculously stoic guides, I'm sure they will be able to help you." Flicking her dark eyes towards the members of security, Troi smiled as the pair stood a little straighter. "I know you have no reason to trust us, but give our people a chance. You won't be disappointed, I promise."

"I'll try and keep an open mind." It was the closest Tali could get to what Deanna was asking of her. Deanna hadn't come out and said it, but there had been a none too subtle hint about the synthetic she had almost fried earlier she was sure.

"Good. I'm going to take a wild guess here and ask that you be assigned a roommate from engineering. Unless you'd rather ask one of your crew mates to join you?" Deanna asked with a quirked eyebrows and a gleam in her eyes. "Someone who shares your taste in food, perhaps?"

"Garr- I mean he- I- we're just fri- oh keelah. I'm going to go crawl into a hole now. A member of your engineering crew would be perfect."

"As you wish Tali. I'm sure Ensign Gomez wouldn't mind the company, she prefers having a roommate and her last one was just transferred off ship a week ago. I can arrange a meeting between you two." Deanna didn't hesitate to put a hand on the nervous but brilliant engineer's shoulder this time, and stopped her from running in mid stride. "It's okay to be afraid. To be uncertain. You've endured a lot just to make it this far. If you ever want to talk, I am always willing to listen Tali. I am immensely curious about you and your friends anyway, so even if it's just small talk, it'll be worth every second of my time."

"Thank you...thank you for everything." Troi nearly blushed at the grateful emotions bombarding her as Tali almost skipped over to her escorts who were all too happy to help her find the young Ensign. Deanna smiled warmly at the trio, having a feeling at least one of the _Normandy's _truly unique crew would be just fine here.

"I saw what you did there Counselor Troi." For once, Troi was taken by surprise when she spun on her heel and saw that Garrus Vakarian had left Ten Forward, and was apparently alone save for his own escort. The officer merely shrugged at her questioning look. "My date was nice and all, but Wrex ruined the mood. We made plans to go out again though, see what happened. Your computer told me to head here. Gotta say, this is one big ship. Not as big as a turian dreadnaught mind you."

Troi pretended to ignore the mandibled alien's intense stare. She figured he was going for tall, dark, and charming, like most of the emotionally insecure men she'd met over the course of her career. "Oh? Well I think you'll find Vannessa to be...very persistent at getting what she wants."

"Most doctors and their assistants that I've come across seem to have that in common. Doctor Chakwas is far more intimidating though." The tall mandibled alien seemed to be waiting for her to say something before giving a quiet sigh. "So, am I going to have to just say it?"

Deanna played dumb, but she knew exactly what he was hinting at. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Patient confidentiality notwithstanding, Tali is a good friend of mine Counselor. I appreciate what you did for her, really. She deserves better treatment than what she dealt with before she found her place on the _Normandy_. You probably aren't aware, but quarians...they aren't treated very kindly where we come from."

"I sensed that. I can also tell that from your less than positive feelings concerning her treatment that you're politely understating things." Troi admitted with a slight nod, her voice turning a bit more somber. "Tali has to be the first guest we ever had that is ecstatic at the thought of sharing spartan living quarters."

Garrus only nodded, understanding all too well why the quarian would be happy to share a room with anyone. "Quarians are a very close knit people Counselor. If you only knew what you've actually given her, you'd truly appreciate the enormous gift she sees your 'generosity' as. Trust me, all that space, even if it is considered spartan by your standards, is far more than she wants or needs."

"And what about you Mr. Vakarian? Any needs or wants that I can address for you?" Troi offered with a playful smirk.

Garrus had to take a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck in an effort to consider his next words. "I know Shepard won't ask, not without prompting anyway, but if you can ask the Captain to help arrange a service for the people we lost… I mean, I know we can't even give them a proper funeral, Shepard made sure to get everyone, and I mean _everyone _she could on the escape pods. She won't ask because she wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone, especially after that little standoff in the infirmary, and considering you were nice enough to save our lives in the first place-"

Troi stopped him mid stream. "Remembering those that have fallen is never an inconvenience on this ship Mr. Vakarian. I'm sure Captain Picard will be more than willing to let you use one of our private lounges for a memorial service."

"Um, of course. Thank you. I'm not sure what human burial rites pass for while we're in space, but Shepard will know I'm sure. She's clever like that." Garrus muttered, the closest any of the crew had ever seen him to getting emotional since coming aboard.

"You admire and respect her a great deal." Troi stated rather than asked.

"Please, call me Garrus. And you have no idea."

"You'd be surprised, Garrus."

Garrus surprised her slightly though when he pointed out what she had hinted at. "Half betazoid, I heard from Vanessa. Must be quite a handy trick with the work you do Counselor. You've made a lasting impression on me already."

"Your perpetual need to flirt with every woman you meet is almost as endearing as it is archaic." She countered, open amusement plain as day on her face as she cocked her head minutely to the side.

The turian chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck again. "Ow. Think you just shot my ego in the heart Counselor. But, for the record, I don't flirt with _every _woman I meet, I prefer to keep all of my talons attached. Like Shepard for instance. Probably helps that I don't have a death wish."

"Dr. T'Soni _does _seem like the jealous type to me, but very eager to make up for her lack of romantic experience." Deanna said with an amused flick of her eyes towards their shared quarters.

"Let me put it this way. Before she met us, Liara was a skilled archeologist. If I were to piss her off, I'd likely wind up buried in a forgotten tomb, mummified alive, and never seen from again until someone stumbled across my dried up remains. _Not _something I'd want to put into practice."

Deanna laughed lightly at the turian, who she sensed, despite his words to the contrary, trusted the asari scientist almost as much as he did Kara Shepard. It was the same trust those on the _Enterprise_ felt for the Captain, but that she kept to herself. "And on that note, I believe I should go. I've spent a bit more time here than I had originally intended, but as I told Tali-"

"If I want to talk, I'll be sure to find you Counselor. Don't worry, I'll try not to ramble on _too _much about how my father never loved me enough, or something like that. Isn't that what humans talk to counselors about?" He asked with a noticeable shrug to his shoulders.

"It's a little odd that you're so specific, don't you think?" The well disguised bitterness that had emanated from the turian at the mention of his father Deanna filed away for future reference, as she looked up into his mandibled face. Something told her that there was history there, something to discuss at a later date perhaps.

She already knew from the irritation flowing her way that the conversation was over long before Garrus started to walk away. "It's been a long day. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to check out my quarters and try to get some rest." She only nodded and stood to the side as his two escorts started on their way once Garrus disappeared into his quarters. She lingered out in the hallway for a moment, caught between the love struck couple in one room and the lonely officer in the other. With a sigh, she chose to head for sickbay next, determined to defuse the strange sexual tension that had somehow formed between Yar and Moreau. The fact he was still relatively in one piece despite having done his best to annoy Tasha said something about his underlying charm and maturity, when he chose to apply it. And then there was Kaidan Alenko. He was as different from Mr. Moreau as night was to day, yet they were obviously good friends.

"Hey, human. You seen a turian around here? His female wouldn't leave me alone until I promised her I'd give him this message." Wrex held up a small datapad with a wince, as if he expected it to blow up in his face. "Read it by accident. Damn thing is gonna haunt my dreams."

Deanna had to bite the inside of her cheek when she saw the message that Vanessa had asked Wrex to pass along. The message, at least in her opinion, was relatively harmless in its content, but to someone as obviously fearless and certain in combat as Wrex, the uncertainty of the romantic arena must be far more terrifying. "He's in B-3, right over there." She said a moment later.

"Thanks." Wrex grunted and started towards the door, but stopped and stared at Deanna for a moment. He started to open his mouth, but seemed to change his mind before knocking on the door. Not quite managing to dent the duranium door panel might be a better description. "Hey! Garrus, move your ass and open the door!"

With a smirk, Troi leaned over and gently tapped at the door chime. "This tends to work better than slamming your fist."

Wrex only had time to grumble in response before an annoyed Garrus glared at him before rubbing at his eyes. "Wrex. I'm really tired. Can't this wait until morning, or whenever five hours from now is on this ship?"

"That would be late evening." Troi helpfully volunteered as her dark, amused eyes flicked between the truly odd pair of aliens.

"Depends, should I delete this message your new mate wanted me to pass along to you scale face?" Wrex grumbled, ignoring Troi completely as he grabbed the pad in both hands, looking to snap it in half, save to give her a subtle smirk before scowling at Garrus with renewed intensity.

Garrus perked up almost immediately as he snatched the pad away from the massive krogan. "Vanessa pestered you to death didn't she? I like her even more already. But I gotta ask, you couldn't just send it to my quarters _why_?" He muttered as his predatory eyes quickly scanned over the datapad.

"More fun this way." Wrex huffed as his smirk fell into a frown. "And she made me promise to give it to you. Damn females and their mind tricks."

"She didn't happen to wave her arm when she asked you did she?" Deanna asked with a chuckle, barely managing not to bend over belly laughing at the thought of a petite nurse getting the better of the massive, prideful warrior.

"Star Wars? I didn't know you were a fan Counselor." Garrus chuckled in reply, the same image flickering through his mind. "Shepard insisted that we have movie night on the _Normandy_." He offered in explanation when he saw the questioning look on the raven haired woman's face.

"Laugh it up you two. I'm going back to Ten-Forward." With an evil grin, Wrex jabbed a finger at Garrus. "Maybe I'll even point out that little chafing problem you turians have with squishy species to your new conquest. And any other female I bump into along the way."

"Chafing?" Troi asked with a curious glance.

"He's kidding...mostly." Garrus nervously said as he rubbed at the back of his fringe, glaring daggers at Wrex's massive humpback. "Let's just say that...these plates of mine weren't exactly made for...well-"

Deanna took mercy on the embarrassed, flustered man and held out her hands to silence him. "I think I get the idea." With a nod, they parted ways as Wrex stomped off with a huff, Garrus headed back to his room and Troi to the nearest turbo lift. But a mischievous smirk pulled at Deanna's lips a split second later as she glanced over her shoulder towards the exhausted turian. "Garrus? I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you, sickbay has a wide array of various personal lubricants in stock."

If it were possible, Deanna was sure Garrus would have sunk into the floor if it would have allowed him to escape his shocked embarrassment. Although, his drooping mandibles really told her all she needed to know. "I ah...um...thanks for the tip?"

"Get some rest Officer Vakarian." Deanna gently chided as she nodded to his open door.

"Yeah, good idea." Garrus muttered, barely able to stop himself from dashing out of the corridor.

When she reached the turbolift, Deanna stopped and stepped to the side when she saw Kaidan Alenko step out, a tired but contented look on his face. "Oh, pardon me ma'am." He started forward, but recognition dawned on him as he locked his whiskey colored eyes on the Counselor's face. "You're, the ship's counselor, Deanna Troi right? Normally I'd stay and chat, but I'm dead on my feet."

After lugging Joker to and from the holodeck, and likely sparring against Tasha at some point during their 'forest trek', she could understand why he looked ready to fall asleep right there in the hallway. "It's not a problem Lt. Alenko-"

"Just Kaidan will do ma'am. I'm not on duty. Don't even have a ship anymore, but I'm still breathing, so there's that." Alenko offered with a grinning shrug.

Troi nodded in approval, liking this clearly kind hearted man already. "Well aren't you the optimist? Every crew needs at least one."

"I guess you could call me the voice of reason ma'am." He offered, a light smile flickering into existence as he started towards the guest quarters. "Someone has to keep Shepard's crew together when she isn't busy blasting apart merc bases and taking down giant deadly machines."

Troi was half tempted to ask the man what he meant as he gave her a casual wave, right before he headed for Shepard's quarters. Before he could open the door or ring the chime to see if it was occupied, Deanna hurried to his side. "Lt. Alenko! Kaidan! I would strongly advise against that."

Half asleep, Kaidan instantly perked up at her warning. "Huh? Oh….oh right, gotcha. Let me guess, this one's taken?" He said as he realized what he had nearly walked into and jerked his hand away from the door controls as if they were about to bite him. "Thanks for the warning."

Troi gently tugged the man back a few paces just to be sure they were out of the automatic doors sensor range. "The Commander and Dr T'Soni seem to greatly value their...privacy."

Alenko's bushy eyebrows shot up. "Okay, I owe you a drink for one death trap narrowly avoided. I'd rather walk in on a thresher maw attack than _that_. Scuttlebutt on the _Normandy_ had it that they….like to explore when they get the chance. Biotics really are more fun, just in case you were curious." Kaidan's whiskey colored eyes widened at Troi's knowing grin. "Not that I meant...I mean, I didn't mean me and- I'm going to go to bed now before I manage to jam my other foot in my mouth."

"Good night Kaidan." Troi chuckled lightly, having not been offended in the slightest at the man's wayward comment brought on by his exhausted state. Before he managed to slip away though, she called out to him. "As I said to your friend, any woman would be lucky to have you Kaidan. With your very _useful_ biotics and all."

There was a tinge of uncertainty at her words that had nothing to do with her praise, and Deanna again made a mental note to explore it at a later date as Kaidan replied. "Thanks, really. Now I'm going to go pretend this was all a horrible nightmare, if that's okay with you."

Troi took some solace in the fact her laughter managed to get a grin out of the man before he quickly retreated to one of the vacant rooms. With that, Deanna shook her head in amusement, even as she made a beeline for the Bridge. She had a lot to discuss with Picard and the command staff regarding their new guests. But first, she would deal with asking the Captain to arrange for their memorial service.

_**End Notes; Archer83**__; This chapter was a bit more lighthearted than we had originally intended, but the two crews are only just getting to know each other so far. Once Starfleet Command hears about Picard's interesting new guests, things are going to be getting very complicated, very quickly. And not in a good way. For those familiar with the trial over Data's rights in his near future, you'll get a fair idea of what we plan to do. You've been warned._

_**Vergil1989**__; Here's a hint folks, Archer is a bad, bad man. : P A certain Section 31 prick that I shall not name will be at the head of this particular shitshow. At any rate, sorry it's been so long since our last update for this. Our RL situations have been a bit rough, to say the least, but this was a much needed reprieve for both of us. Besides that, this was one of the better stories we came up with in the middle of the night, when we should have gone to bed hours ago lol. As always, fave, follow, and review. Adios!_


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